Cover image for Divorce poison : how to protect your family from bad-mouthing and brainwashing
Divorce poison : how to protect your family from bad-mouthing and brainwashing
Warshak, Richard Ades, 1949-
[Rev. ed.]
Publication Information:
New York : Harper, [2010]

Physical Description:
xxxi, 315 pages ; 24 cm
This work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children. Offers advice on how to: recognize early warning signs of trouble; react if your children refuse to see you; respond to rude and hateful behavior; avoid the seven common errors made by rejected parents--P. [4] of cover.
General Note:
Includes index.

"Revised with a new introduction and afterword"--Cover.
Introduction: Stealing the soul -- The delicate balance -- Bad-mouthing, bashing, and brainwashing -- Alienated children -- Malignant motives -- The alienating environment -- The corruption of reality -- Poison control -- Getting professional help -- Letting go -- Afterword: Restoring lost identities and lost relationships.
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Central Library HQ777.5 .W37 2010 Adult Non-Fiction Childrens Area-Family Place

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Your ex-spouse is bad mouthing you to your children, constantly portraying you in a negative light, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. You could lose their respect, lose their affections-even, in extreme cases, lose all contact with them. The conventional advice is to do nothing, that fighting fire with fire will only result in greater injury to the children. But after years of consulting parents who heeded such advice with no success, Dr. Richard Warshak is convinced that this approach is wrong. It doesn't work, and parents are left feeling helpless and hopeless. DIVORCE POISON instead offers a blueprint for effective response. In it, you will learn how to distinguish different types of criticism, how and why parents manipulate their children, how to detect these maneuvers, and how these practices damage children. Most importantly, you'll discover powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with your children.

DIVORCE POISON is a time-tested work that gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children-and provides practical advice from legal and mental-health professionals to help their clients and safeguard the welfare of children. Whether they are perpetrators of divorce poison, victims of it, or both, parents who heed Dr. Warshak's advice will enable their children to maintain love and respect for their parents-even if their parents no longer love and respect each other.

Author Notes

Dr. Richard A. Warshak is a clinical professor of psychology at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas. An international authority and consultant to parents and attorneys on divorce and parental alienation, Dr. Warshak has spoken at the White House, and his work has been featured in a PBS documentary and in media including The Early Show, Today, CNN, CTV, the New York Times, USA Today, Macleans, the London Sunday Telegraph, the Toronto Star, and Time.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsp. xiii
A Note to the Readerp. xv
Introduction: Stealing The Soulp. xxvii
1 The Delicate Balancep. 1
The United Front
When Silence Is Not Golden
How to Distinguish Between Helpful and Harmful Criticism
2 Bad-Mouthing, Bashing, And Brainwashingp. 18
Parental Alienation Syndrome
Children Who Resist Divorce Poison
3 Alienated Childrenp. 34
The Hate Campaign
Trivial Explanations for the Hatred
False Abuse Accusations
Polarizing Parents: Saints and Sinners
Parroting Adults
Declaration of Independence
Hatred by Association
Alienation Without Divorce Poison
Justified Alienation
Child-Driven Alienation
Understanding the Roots of Alienation
Is It Alienation or Not?
False Accusations of Parental Alienation
4 Malignant Motivesp. 79
Poor Boundaries
Seeking Validation
Holding On with Hate
Hostility Toward the Children
Custody Litigation
Preventing Alienation During Custody Litigation
5 The Alienating Environmentp. 124
6 The Corruption of Realityp. 142
The Name Game
Selective Attention
Judging Behavior out of Context
Concealing Contrary Facts
Revisionist History
The Total Change Theory
Suggestions and Innuendos
Holier Than Thou
With God on Our Side
"The Truth"
Cloak and Dagger
Cognitive Dissonance
Tamper-Resistant Packaging
7 Poison Controlp. 199
The Power of Indirect Communication
Fly on the Wall
Two Steps Removed
Using Third Parties
Strike While the Iron Is Cold
Creating Bridges
Healing Experiences
Memorializing the Positive
The Way We Were
Sowing Seeds in the Psyche
Divide and Conquer: The Value of Separating Siblings
Contagion Control: Helping Children Stay Neutral
With God on Our Side-Revisited
Agree to Disagree
No One's Perfect
Think for Yourself
Brainwashing 101
Films and Television
Become a Better Parent
Avoid Common Errors
Damage Control
Ann Landers's Reconciliation Day
8 Getting Professional Helpp. 242
When To Call the Therapist
How Therapy Can Help
How You Can Help Your Therapist
Selecting Therapists
Conditions of Treatment
Child Custody Evaluations
Options for Healing Damaged Parent-Child Relationships
Hiring an Attorney
9 Letting Gop. 282
When To Let Go
How To Let Go
Staying in Touch after Letting Go
New Bridges
Alienated Children as Adults
Reconnecting with Adult Alienated Children
Coping with the Loss
Hope for the Future
Afterword: Restoring Lost Identities and Lost Relationshipsp. 298
Indexp. 309

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