Cover image for Co-parenting with a toxic ex : what to do when your ex-spouse tries to turn the kids against you
Title:
Co-parenting with a toxic ex : what to do when your ex-spouse tries to turn the kids against you
Author:
Baker, Amy J. L.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2014]
Physical Description:
199 pages ; 23 cm
Summary:
" There's no question about it: your children are the most important thing in your life. But if you have gone through a messy divorce, your relationship with your children may become strained if you have to deal with a toxic ex. Your ex may bad-mouth you in front of the kids, accuse you of being a bad parent, and even attempt to replace you in the children's lives with a new partner. As a result, your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed-and you may feel powerless. In Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse. You'll learn to avoid the most common mistakes of coparenting, how to avoid "parental alienation syndrome, " and effective techniques for talking to your children in a way that fosters open and honest response. In addition, you'll learn how to protect your children from painful loyalty conflicts between you and your ex-spouse. Divorce is often painful, especially if your ex habitually tries to undermine your relationship with your children. But with the right tools you can protect your kids and make your relationship with them stronger than ever. This book can show you how. You can find out more about this book and about author Amy J.L. Baker at www.amyjlbaker.com"--

"After a messy divorce, it's all too common for one parent to try and undermine the relationship between their children and their ex. In Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex, readers are offered a positive parenting approach to coping with a hostile ex-spouse. Inside, mothers and fathers who are dealing with a toxic ex will learn how to avoid parental alienation, as well as techniques for talking to their children in a way that fosters open and honest response. Divorce can be painful, but with the right tools parents can protect their kids and build stronger, more trusting relationships"--
Language:
English
Contents:
Introduction -- Causes and consequences of loyalty conflicts in families of divorce -- How co-parents create loyalty conflicts and how children respond -- Core concepts of positive parenting -- Deepening your bond and reducing conflict with your child -- When your ex is sending poisonous messages about you -- When your ex is interfering with contact and communication -- When your ex is erasing and replacing you -- When your ex is encouraging your child to betray your trust -- When your ex is undermining your authority and fostering dependency in your child -- Final words.
Added Author:
ISBN:
9781608829583
Format :
Book

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Central Library HQ777.5 .B343 2014 Adult Non-Fiction Childrens Area-Family Place
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Summary

Summary

You aren't what you think! For teens with negative thinking habits, a licensed psychologist and a health journalist offer cognitive restructuring--a simple and effective cognitive behavioral approach to help you break free from the nine most common negative thinking habits that typically result in feeling sad, worried, angry, and stressed.

This workbook offers a powerful technique called cognitive restructuring to help you reframe your thoughts, regulate your emotions, become a more flexible thinker, and stop letting your thoughts define who you are and how you feel. You'll learn to target the nine specific kinds of negative thinking habits that can cause you to worry or feel bad, such as the I can't habit, the doom and gloom habit, the all or nothing habit, the jumping to conclusions habit, and more!

Each chapter will walk you through simple explanations of each kind of negative thought, and offers real-life examples--as well as the sorts of behaviors, emotions, and bodily sensations that might be expected. You'll also gain an understanding of unhelpful or unrealistic thoughts, how to challenge them, how to replace them with more realistic and helpful thoughts, and an action plan for moving forward.

By recognizing these negative thinking habits, you'll feel more in control and less anxious and sad. Most importantly, you'll be able to see yourself and the world more clearly. Your thoughts don't have to define who you are and how you experience life. The transdiagnostic approach in this book will show you how to kick negative thinking habits to the curb for good!



Author Notes

Amy J. L. Baker, PhD, is a national expert on children caught in loyalty conflicts and has written a seminal book on the topic, Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome, published by W.W. Norton and Company. In addition to conducting trainings around the country for parents as well as legal and mental health professionals, Baker has written dozens of scholarly articles on topics related to parent-child relationships and has appeared on national TV, including Good Morning America, CNN, and the Joy Behar Show. She has been quoted in the New York Times and US News and World Report, among other print media outlets. Baker graduated from Barnard College, summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa. She has a PhD in human development from Teachers College, Columbia University. More information is available on her website at www.amyjlbaker.com .
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Paul R. Fine, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in practice at a community mental health center in northern New Jersey. He has over twenty-five years' experience working with diverse populations. His practice includes an eclectic and humanistic approach to problems faced by individuals and families.


Reviews 1

Publisher's Weekly Review

Parenting expert Baker (Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome) and psychotherapist Fine have created a workbook specifically for divorced co-parents who sense they are losing the battle for their children's love, loyalty, and respect. The book features tools, strategies, written exercises, and dialogues designed to help reduce the ex's negative influence and "delay, if not prevent" a child from choosing one parent over another. This guide helps co-parents recognize and understand the signs and symptoms of loyalty struggles and their insidious effects, while offering remedies based in positive and mindful parenting to help fashion a safe and loving environment. The authors suggest the familiar protocol of positive parenting as a way to strengthen the parent-child bond, and, when coupled with mindfulness techniques for personal awareness, this protocol can help unhappy, stressed parents handle the animosity and negative influence of their ex. Like a guerilla manual, the book arms co-parents with tools for coping with a variety of scenarios, including when the ex is sending poisonous messages, interfering with contact and communication, "erasing and replacing," encouraging the child to betray confidences and trust, or undermining the co-parent's authority. Genuinely helpful, this guide tackles a sensitive problem and shows how to diffuse it with accepted and proven psychotherapeutic practices. (May) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.


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