Road map for a long journey. You don't have to do this alone ; Why we wrote this book ; How to read this book ; Some words of advice -- What death means to children. Age matters ; Preschool-age children : a limited concept of death ; Elementary school-age children : a growing understanding of death ; The teenage years : a fuller comprehension -- Someone I love is dying. Getting bad news ; How to get help ; My spouse is dying : anticipating living as a single parent ; My child is dying : anticipating an altered family -- Someone I love has died. The finality of death : the door is closed ; How children react ; Staggering through ; Making decisions ; Rites and rituals -- After a parent's death : a world upside down. Losing your past, present, and future ; What your children have lost ; Different ways of showing grief ; Lives reexamined ; Redesigning the role of parent ; Going back to school ; Felings and what to do with them ; Falling apart, and coming together ; Be patient with yourself and with your children -- After a child's death : a family disrupted. The parent's view : coping with your own loss ; Two parents, and at least two ways of grieving ; Other people do not always help ; Parenting your other children ; The child's view : what it means to lose a sibling ; Friends and bullies ; Collapse of their world : a lost way of life ; The lost world ; A new outlook, for you and your children -- After a friend's death : invisible mourners. Death and funerals ; Trying to make sense of it all ; Constructing a relationship with the person who died -- Help of all kinds. The early period after the death ; Finding help at school ; Help with financial and legal issues ; Tme moves forward, but help is still needed ; Individual counseling for children and adults ; Bereavement groups for children and adults ; Not all help is helpful ; A reordered universe -- Continuing bonds. What happens after death : faith, dreams, visions, and visits ; Connections over time -- Looking back, looking ahead. The new world ; Dating and remarriage ; The child's path.