Introduction / Best American woman comedy piece written by a woman / Best American sentences on page 50 of books published in 2009 -- Best American magazine letters section / Best American fast-foot-related crimes -- Best American gun magazine headlines -- Best American six-word memoirs on love and heartbreak -- Best American new patents -- Best American tweets -- Best American letter to the editor -- Best American overqualified cover letters / Best American fictional character names -- Best American 350-word story / Best American farm names -- Best American first lines of poems published in 2009 -- Best American journal article titles published in 2009 -- Best American illustrated missed connections / Best American new band names -- Best American lawsuits -- Best American poems written in the last decade or so by soldiers and citizens in Iraq and Afghanistan -- War dances / Like I was Jesus / Burying Jeremy Green / Carnival / Capital gains / Encirclement / Man of steel / Half beat / Gentlemen, start your engines / Photographer / What, of this goldfish, would you wish? / Fed to the streets / Tiger's wife / Breakdown / Ideas / Vanish / Seven months, ten days in captivity / Tent City, U.S.A. / Nice little people / Freedom