Cover image for The power of the middle ground : a couple's guide to renewing your relationship
The power of the middle ground : a couple's guide to renewing your relationship
Babits, Marty, 1948-
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Amherst, N.Y. : Prometheus Books, [2009]

Physical Description:
263 pages ; 23 cm
What's the middle ground? -- Renaissance in lovemaking -- Where can a gay couple find true love? -- Older can be better -- Parenthood -- Syncopated rhythms -- Seven guidelines for middle-ground communication -- Letting go of anger -- Two myths -- Fertile ground -- Rounding out the middle ground--final remarks -- Appendixes: Approaching couples' work ; Envisioning possibilities ; Your relational autoimmune system ; What to do if your partner is abusive.
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
HQ10 .B32 2009 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
HQ10 .B32 2009 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf

On Order



The Power of the Middle Ground explains-as no other self-help book does-why and how the inherent difficulties entailed in the change process itself are daunting. Author Marty Babits, a seasoned couples therapist and educator, explains strategies and provides tips for grappling successfully with the challenges that change presents. This key aspect of working through relationship difficulties has, until now, been given short shrift in the popular and academic literature. Despite the central place of divorce in our culture, he teaches couples how to achieve a much greater impact in solving difficult interpersonal problems than is often thought possible.
Babits helps couples envision a place that brings their potential for love and compassion alive. This place, which neither partner can dominate and in which each learns to approach problems productively, he calls the "middle ground." Through a series of exercises, he equips couples to appreciate and actualize what is positive and possible in their relationship.
This encouraging, yet realistic book empowers partners to negotiate differences, emphasize the positive, see issues from each other's point of view, defuse anger, and, as a result, rekindle warmth and love.

Author Notes

Marty Babits, LCSW, BCD, is a psychotherapist in private practice and a member of the Executive Supervisory Committee of FACTS (the Family and Couples Treatment Service) of the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy

Reviews 1

Library Journal Review

According to couples therapist and educator Babits, the "middle ground" is the place where neither partner dominates, each approaches problems productively, and love and compassion come alive. His realistic directions on reaching the middle ground include seeing issues from the other's point of view, emphasizing the positive, and developing patience. It would be most beneficial, he notes, if both partners practiced the steps of "letting go of anger" or "paraphrasing the other's point" together. But even if just one of them uses this book as a tool for introspection, the relationship--whether straight or gay--should greatly improve. Worksheets and exercises are included. Recommended for public libraries. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Table of Contents

Dr. Ronald Taffel
Forewordp. 13
Prefacep. 17
Acknowledgmentsp. 19
Introductionp. 21
Exercise: Middle-Ground Responsesp. 26
Chapter 1 What's the Middle Ground?p. 29
Exercise: Do You Have a Middle Ground?p. 41
Chapter 2 Renaissance in Lovemakingp. 45
Exercise: The Basic Three-Stepp. 57
Exercise: Second Camerap. 65
Chapter 3 Where Can a Gay Couple Find True Love?p. 69
Chapter 4 Older Can be Betterp. 95
Exercise: One Talks, the Other Doesn'tp. 105
Exercise: Reaching Out from the Insidep. 109
Chapter 5 Parenthoodp. 115
Exercise: Teamwork Quizp. 131
Exercise: Keeping Love Alivep. 133
Chapter 6 Syncopated Rhythmsp. 135
Chapter 7 Seven Guidelines for Middle-Ground Communicationp. 153
Exercise: Guideline Mastery Quizp. 162
Exercise: Guideline Reviewp. 165
Chapter 8 Letting Go of Angerp. 167
Exercise: Your Anger Profilep. 181
Exercise: Your Anger Genogramp. 184
Chapter 9 Two Mythsp. 189
Chapter 10 Fertile Groundp. 201
Exercise: Compare-and-Contrast Worksheetp. 213
Chapter 11 Rounding Out the Middle Ground-Final Remarksp. 217
Appendix 1 Approaching Couples' Workp. 229
Appendix 2 Envisioning Possibilitiesp. 235
Appendix 3 Your Relational Autoimmune Systemp. 249
Appendix 4 What to Do if Your Partner is Abusivep. 253
Appendix 5 Select Recommended Readingsp. 255
Indexp. 259