Foreword / John R. Claypool -- The unwanted gift -- Grief as gratitude, grief as gift -- The wilderness of grief : the "way" to transformation -- Without facing the pain, growth may be limited -- Letting go of the past, we rise to new life -- Grief : a journey of wondering and wandering in the wilderness -- Everyone grieves differently -- How long will I grieve? -- The effects of family and culture on grieving -- Different pathways through grief : think people, feel people, and act people -- Introverts and extroverts -- Factors that affect the wilderness of grief -- The faith factor -- The need for sojourners : counselors, ministers, and friends -- Sudden loss or slow, unfolding loss -- Rejection and suicide -- The life cycle and development -- Differentiation and enmeshment -- The wilderness of grief -- Unbelievable darkness -- The dynamics of darkness -- Types of shock and disbelief -- Temporary or permanent amnesia -- Frustration and anger amid "why"? -- Frustration and anger : part of the journey -- Frustration and anger as regret, remorse, or guilt -- Frustration and anger toward others -- Praying for a miracle -- Holy and earthly contracts : hope for healing and cure -- Miracles and saying "yes" to death and suffering -- Mom's good death -- Advance directives and DNR orders -- Abby's good miracle -- Wrestling with sadness and depression -- Sadness and depression : normal parts of healing -- Movement into light and healing -- Signs of when depression is too deep -- Getting help : when, what, and where -- Healing : experiencing the light again -- Turning points in the wilderness -- Caution : euphoria may be ahead! -- What does this healing transformation look or feel like? -- What is this mysterious spirit that transforms us through the wilderness? -- And yet-- we never forget! -- The return of grief : "peek-a-boo" experiences -- Sojourners in the wilderness : how to help -- Being a sojourner -- What is a sojourner? -- Appendix: The sojourner process guide : walking with another through the wilderness of grief -- Sojourning with those in unbelievable darkness -- Sojourning with those frustrated and angry amid "why"? -- Sojourning with those praying for a miracle -- Sojourning with those wrestling with sadness and depression -- Sojourning with those in healing and light -- More ways toward transformation -- Marriage : tough enough without grief -- Couples and grieving -- Gender differences and grieving -- Complementarity in marriage and grief -- The gift of sexual closeness amid grief -- Appendix: The grief date : a guide for couples and family members -- Ways of making it through the wilderness of grief.