Realize we're all in the same soup -- Delight in your baby -- Cool down your conflicts -- Soften how you bring up a problem -- Accept influence : there are two sides to every fight -- Calm down by self-soothing -- Compromise -- The importance of repair -- The aftermath of a fight : process and understand it -- Processing a fight : deepening your understanding -- Unsolvable problems : move from gridlock to dialogue -- Savoring your friendship -- Heat up your sex life -- Add warm fathering -- Bake the bread of legacy.