Cover image for Belly laughs : the naked truth about pregnancy and childbirth
Title:
Belly laughs : the naked truth about pregnancy and childbirth
Author:
McCarthy, Jenny, 1972-
Personal Author:
Edition:
First Da Capo Lifelong Books edition.
Publication Information:
Cambridge, MA : Da Capo Lifelong, [2004]

©2004
Physical Description:
x, 165 pages ; 21 cm
Language:
English
Contents:
So you got knocked up? (getting pregnant) -- Honey, your sperm really do work! (pregnancy test) -- Barf-o-rama (morning sickness) -- Niagara in my pants (vaginal discharge) -- Psycho chick (hormonal rage) -- Holy shit, I think I hard-boiled my baby! (taking hot baths) -- Granny panties (letting go of the G-string) -- I can either pee on you or you can get the hell out of my way! (frequent pee breaks) -- Passing stonehenge (constipation) -- Is it a penis or a vagina? (finding out the sex) -- Can I have a mustard sandwich with pickles, anchovies, peanut butter, and a little cottage cheese? -- Oh, and throw a few fish sticks on there! (cravings) -- Where in the hell can I find a muumuu? (nothing to wear) -- Freddy Kruger ain't got nothing on me! (dreams) -- Is that an apple on your rectum or are you just happy to see me? (hemorrhoids) -- Hi, porn star! (engorged breasts) -- Ready and squeeze--your kegels (an exercise for the vagina) -- Well, it's not 1972 anymore! (baby boomers explaining how it was in their day) -- A sewer tank explode, or did you just fart? (gas) -- Hands off, dude! (strangers touching your belly) -- I can't see! I'm bleeding! I can't stand it! (weird and painful bits and pieces) -- Www.ihavetostopbuyingbabyshit.com (on-line baby stores) -- Is it hot in here or is it just me?--it's just me (hot flashes and fainting spells) -- Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oooooooohhhhhhh!--I'll take another one of those, please! (orgasms in pregnancy) -- The crying game (hormonal blues) -- So, anyway, like I was saying--wait, what was I saying? (wandering mind) -- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest pregnant lady of them all? clearly not you, lady! (face acne and rashes) -- It's a bird!! it's a plane!--no, it's a really swollen pregnant lady! (water retention) -- The McRib sandwich (back pain) -- Headaches (headaches--duh) -- That ain't my ass! (cellulite gain) -- No, not yet! I'm not ready for this yet! (premature labor) -- Poopin' on the table (the dark side of delivery) -- The blue twinkies (your swollen vagina) -- Die, model bitch, die! (hating skinny people -- Ooooh! I think I felt the baby move--or maybe it's just gas (baby kicks) -- Organizing freak (your nesting instinct) -- Breathing for dummies (Lamaze) -- What the fu*k are these? (stretch marks) -- I just need to lie down for, like, five minutes--okay, maybe three months (sleepiness) -- Pig in the pasture (sex in the ninth month) -- The moment of truth (labor and delivery) -- Let me repeat (husband no no's).
Subject Term:
ISBN:
9780738209494

9780738210070
Format :
Book

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RG556 .M34 2004 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Summary

Summary

Oh, the joys of pregnancy! There's the gasiness, constipation, queasiness, and exhaustion; the forgetfulness, crankiness, and the constant worry. Of course, no woman is spared these discomforts and humiliations, but most are too polite to complain or too embarrassed to talk about them. Not Jenny McCarthy!In Belly Laughs , the actress and new mother reveals the naked truth about the tremendous mood swings, the excruciating pains, and the unseemly disfigurement that go along with pregnancy. Never shy, frequently crude, and always laugh-out-loud funny, McCarthy covers it all in the grittiest of girlfriend detail. With tips and hilarious musings on morning sickness and hormonal rage, hemorrhoids, pregnant sex, and the torture and sweet relief that is delivery, Belly Laughs is must-read comic relief for anyone who is pregnant, who has ever been pregnant, is trying to get pregnant or indeed, has ever been born!


Author Notes

Jenny McCarthy was born in Chicago, Illinois on November 1, 1972. She studied nursing at Southern Illinois University Carbondale before being accepted as a Playboy model in 1993.

Following her ensuing popularity, she moved to Los Angeles and hosted Hot Rocks and then Singled Out. McCarthy has also starred in The Jenny McCarthy Show, appeared in numerous films, and guest starred on many television shows.

She promotes autism awareness through her activism and has written several books, including Belly Laughs, Mother Warriors, and Healing and Preventing Autism, which was co-written with Dr. Jerry Kartzinel.

(Bowker Author Biography)


Reviews 2

Booklist Review

McCarthy applies her in-your-face manner and blue humor to the subject of pregnancy and childbirth in this little piece of fun. The former Playboy centerfold and all-around bad girl recounts her journey to motherhood with utter abandon, discussing topics that those other wholesome books tend to treat too gently, such as enemas, pubic hair growth, and sex in the ninth month. What's noble about this book (yes, noble) is that women who find these topics too embarrassing to bring up now have a place to read about them in a frank and open discussion.\b After all, they're as real as morning sickness, and McCarthy treats them with a candor that borders on crude but that is refreshing, and, ultimately, necessary. Not to mention funny. Like a gossipy girlfriend, McCarthy brings you in and makes you laugh; there's a certain comfort in knowing that even a sex symbol gets stretch marks and balloons to 200 pounds during pregnancy. A must-have for any childbirth collection. An aggressive marketing campaign suggests libraries ought to stock up. --Mary Frances Wilkens Copyright 2004 Booklist


Publisher's Weekly Review

McCarthy, 1994 Playmate of the Year, actress (Scream 3; Baywatch; etc.) and former host of MTV's Singled Out, gave birth to her first child in 2002. Her pregnancy wasn't pretty-and she wants to tell readers all about it. At the outset, she tells them, "If you bought this book, you are already aware of my frankness when it comes to certain things-anatomy and bodily functions among them. If someone gave this book to you as a gift and you've never heard of me, apologies to you!" She goes on to recount the nitty-gritty of pregnancy in all its gory detail, covering morning sickness, hormonal rage, cravings, hemorrhoids, "engorged" breasts, gas, hot flashes, fainting spells, weight gain, acne, water retention and, finally, labor. McCarthy is undeniably crass but funny, and her candor and self-deprecation are refreshing. Each brief, chatty chapter focuses on a different-and awful-facet of pregnancy, with McCarthy relating personal anecdotes and usually winding down by reassuring women they're not alone. McCarthy's tales are, for the most part, a hoot, though they may offend more uptight readers. For example, in the beginning of McCarthy's pregnancy, she was constipated, so she visited a specialist. In the waiting room, the assistant called her name, and "everyone... looked up in surprise, and I knew what they were thinking: `Jenny McCarthy has butt hole problems?' I was so embarrassed, until I realized that they had no right to be smirking: Those assholes were also there because of their own assholes. I felt better already." (May) Forecast: An author tour, 20-market radio satellite tour and national advertising should generate sales. The book's cover bears a photo of McCarthy sporting her trademark euphoric grin and blonde hair blowing around her head in sexy waves-which could drive husbands to buy this for their pregnant wives. (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved


Table of Contents

So You Got Knocked Up? (Getting Pregnant)p. 1
Honey, Your Sperm Really Do Work! (Pregnancy Tests)p. 5
Barf-O-Rama (Morning Sickness)p. 9
Niagara in My Pants (Vaginal Discharge)p. 13
Psycho Chick (Hormonal Rage)p. 15
Holy Shit, I Think I Hard-Boiled My Baby! (Taking Hot Baths)p. 19
Granny Panties (Letting Go of the G-String)p. 23
I Can Either Pee on You or You Can Get the Hell Out of My Way! (Frequent Pee Breaks)p. 27
Passing Stonehenge (Constipation)p. 31
Is It a Penis or a Vagina? (Finding Out the Sex)p. 37
Can I Have a Mustard Sandwich with Pickles, Anchovies, Peanut Butter, and a Little Cottage Cheese?...Oh, and Throw a Few Fish Sticks on There! (Cravings)p. 43
Where in the Hell Can I Find a Muumuu? (Nothing to Wear)p. 47
Freddy Krueger Ain't Got Nothing on Me! (Dreams)p. 53
Is That an Apple on Your Rectum, or Are You Just Happy to See Me? (Hemorrhoids)p. 57
Hi, Porn Star! (Engorged Breasts)p. 59
Ready and Squeeze...Your Kegels (An Exercise for the Vagina)p. 65
Well, It's Not 1972 Anymore! (Baby Boomers Explaining How It Was in Their Day)p. 69
Did a Sewer Tank Explode, or Did You Just Fart? (Gas)p. 73
Hands Off, Dude! (Strangers Touching Your Belly)p. 75
I Can't See! I'm Bleeding! I Can't Stand It! (Weird and Painful Bits and Pieces)p. 77
www.ihavetostopbuyingbabyshit.com (On-Line Baby Stores)p. 81
Is It Hot in Here or Is It Just Me?...It's Just Me (Hot Flashes and Fainting Spells)p. 83
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!...I'll Take Another One of Those, Please! (Orgasms in Pregnancy)p. 87
The Crying Game (Hormonal Blues)p. 91
So, Anyway, Like I Was Saying...Wait, What Was I Saying? (Wandering Mind)p. 95
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Prettiest Pregnant Lady of Them All? Clearly Not You, Lady! (Face Acne and Rashes)p. 97
It's a Bird! It's a Plane!...No, It's a Really Swollen Pregnant Lady! (Water Retention)p. 101
The McRib Sandwich (Back Pain)p. 105
Headaches (Headaches...Duh)p. 109
That Ain't My Ass! (Cellulite Gain)p. 111
No, Not Yet! I'm Not Ready for This Yet! (Premature Labor)p. 115
Poopin' on the Table (The Dark Side of Delivery)p. 119
The Blue Twinkies (Your Swollen Vagina)p. 123
Die, Model Bitch, Die! (Hating Skinny People)p. 125
OOOOH! I Think I Felt the Baby Move...or Maybe It's Just Gas (Baby Kicks)p. 129
Organizing Freak (Your Nesting Instinct)p. 133
Breathing for Dummies (Lamaze)p. 135
What the Fu*k Are These? (Stretch Marks)p. 139
I Just Need to Lie Down for, Like, Five Minutes...Okay, Maybe Three Months (Sleepiness)p. 143
Pig in the Pasture (Sex in the Ninth Month)p. 147
The Moment of Truth (Labor and Delivery)p. 149