Cover image for You don't say : navigating nonverbal communication between the sexes
You don't say : navigating nonverbal communication between the sexes
Nelson, Audrey, 1948-
Personal Author:
Prentice Hall Press edition.
Publication Information:
New York : Prentice Hall Press, [2004]

Physical Description:
xii, 323 pages ; 23 cm
Added Author:
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
HM1166 .N45 2004 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
HM1166 .N45 2004 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf

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More than words, it's nonverbal cues that have the power to improve-or impair-our interactions with the opposite sex at home and in the workplace. In fact, 90% of communication is conveyed through unspoken behaviors-including gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and proximity. You Don't Sayis the first book to explore the misunderstandings that often arise between the sexes due to nonverbal communication-and to show readers how to say what they mean and get what they want. At last, they'll discover why actions speak louder than words-and what to do about it. Features helpful tips on: € Achieving intimacy in marriage € Taking one's career to new heights € Getting the most out of the relationships in one's private and professional life € Becoming a better parent € Enhancing even the smallest exchanges throughout the day

Author Notes

Audrey Nelson is communication consultant and seminar leader, and head of Nelson Communication
Susan K. Golant is the writer of twenty-five books

Reviews 1

Publisher's Weekly Review

Nelson heads her own communications consulting group and might boil her extensive experience down to a single maxim: "gender role transcendence is the key to successful communication." Writing with Golant (In the Company of Women), she examines the nonverbal styles of men and women, and explores ways that they can learn to pick up on, and use, each other's prevalent cues. Citing studies and anecdotes, Nelson notes that although some differences are biologically determined, most are based on the socialization process that children are exposed to in the home and at school. She shows how feelings and signifiers of social power get mapped onto eyes, faces and touch. Nelson's practical suggestions are geared toward the business world. She advises men against too frequent use of the "poker face," and counsels tuning into the other person and "mirroring" their emotions, a skill that conveys empathy and that women more frequently employ. Among much else, there is advice for women on the fine points of a conventional handshake, with the full palm and firm grasp that men often expect. Clear and concise throughout, Nelson also provides useful information on cross-cultural differences in nonverbal communication, such as the Japanese tradition of lowering the eyes to indicate respect. (Mar.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Table of Contents

Introduction: It's the Elephant in the Middle of the Roomp. 1
Chapter 1 A Barcode on Her Foreheadp. 13
Chapter 2 Girls Will Be Girls, Boys Will Be Boysp. 36
Chapter 3 Let's Face Itp. 56
Chapter 4 The Eyes Have Itp. 90
Chapter 5 The Power of Touchp. 119
Chapter 6 Close Encountersp. 151
Chapter 7 Talking with Your Handsp. 181
Chapter 8 Don't Look at Me in That Tone of Voicep. 199
Chapter 9 Dress Codep. 226
Chapter 10 Listening with Two Earsp. 252
Chapter 11 Gender-Flexingp. 279
Conclusion: Does Nonverbal Literacy Make a Difference?p. 297
Bibliographyp. 301