Cover image for Loving yourself : four steps to a happier you
Loving yourself : four steps to a happier you
Kingma, Daphne Rose.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Boston, MA : Conari Press, [2004]

Physical Description:
177 pages ; 18 cm
Format :


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BL625.7 .K56 2004 Adult Non-Fiction Being fixed/mended
BL625.7 .K56 2004 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf

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All the self-help books and advice, all the therapy and support groups, even the most fabulous, successful career in the world won't really help at all--until we learn to love ourselves. In Loving Yourself, Daphne Kingma claims that until we practice loving ourselves--and it takes a lot of practice--we will never be able to love others fully and completely. She writes, "When we haven't learned how to love ourselves well, we keep getting stuck on this simple first rung of the ladder--not knowing how or how well to treat others, having problems with what we call boundaries, stumbling in the swamps of low self-esteem and thickets of self-loathing that derail us in our efforts to 'love others as we love ourselves'."
Reading Loving Yourself, the reader takes a journey to their selves--a journey of how they lost their selves, and thereby their ability to love their selves. Kingma names six life themes--including abandonment, neglect, and abuse--that help readers identify themes in their lives and decide what to do with these themes as they discover them.
Daphne Rose Kingma is a psychotherapist who has counseled couples and individuals to a deeper understanding and improvement of their relationships for more than 25 years. She has appeared on national television shows including Oprah and Sally Jessy Raphael and is the best-selling author of many books including True Love, Finding True Love, and Loving Yourself.

Author Notes

Daphne Rose Kingma is a psychotherapist of 25 years She has written extensively on love and relationships

Reviews 1

Publisher's Weekly Review

A therapist who has made frequent guest appearances on Oprah and whose previous three books have sold over 200,000 copies each, Kingma (The Future of Love) believes that "loving yourself is the greatest work you will do in this life." For Kingma, self-love not only contributes to better relationships and personal achievements, but enhances the ability to be compassionate and generous toward others. Negative childhood experiences, such as abandonment or abuse, that one had no control over contribute to persistent self-defeating feelings of low self-esteem that follow one into adulthood. All of this will be familiar to most readers, as will the four steps Kingma recommends for overcoming patterns of self-criticism and moving toward self-acceptance: mastering the ability to speak out honestly; taking actions that lead to growth; carving out one's own emotional space without others' interference; and "setting out" or focusing on a path beyond the self, via spiritual or other pursuits. What sets Kingma's work apart is that she almost unerringly gets the tone of affirmation right: she encourages without condescension, shares anecdotes without self-aggrandizement or sentimentality, and composes her sentences with care. The results make readers feel as if Kingma has anticipated their needs-exactly what one wants when receiving advice, especially when one has heard much of it before. (Apr.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsp. ix
Part 1 Moring Yourself, Rooking Backp. 1
Chapter 1 Why You Need and Deserve Your Own Lovep. 3
Chapter 2 How Don't I Love Me? Let Me Count the Waysp. 11
Chapter 3 How Did It Get to Be This Way?p. 21
Chapter 4 Learning to Love Yourselfp. 35
Part 2 The Path to Self-Rarep. 45
Chapter 5 Speak Outp. 47
Chapter 6 Act Outp. 79
Chapter 7 Clear Outp. 109
Chapter 8 Set Outp. 145
Chapter 9 Living with Self-Compassionp. 165