Cover image for The Darwin awards 3 : survival of the fitttest
Title:
The Darwin awards 3 : survival of the fitttest
Author:
Northcutt, Wendy.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Roseland, NJ : Listen & Live Audio, [2003]

â„—2003
Physical Description:
2 audio discs (3.5 hrs.) : digital ; 4 3/4 in.
General Note:
Abridged.

Compact discs.
Language:
English
ISBN:
9781593160142
UPC:
762458310628
Format :
Audiobook on CD

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BF431 .N672 2003C Adult Audiobook on CD Audiobooks
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BF431 .N672 2003C Adult Audiobook on CD Audiobooks
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Summary

Summary

A third helping of satisfies the appetite of fans of smart humor with a fresh collection of stories honoring those who continue to improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion! Included are over one hundred stories of award-winners, honorable mentions, and (debunked) urban legends verified by the author and endorsed by website readers together with a few returning all-time favorites, and exclusive material never before seen


Table of Contents

Survival of the Fittest
Introduction
Darwin Awards are not for everyone+only a select few earn this dubious distinction. Review the rules, the categories, and the evolutionary concepts underpinning the Darwin Awards. The Darwin Awards
Defined 2 The Rules 4 The Categories 9 Survival of the Fittest 11
Chapter 1 Law Enforcement
Crime Does PayIn this chapter lawbreakers and law enforcers bump elbows in an informal competition to see who is best suited to lose the fight between good and evil. Inept bunglers from both sides of the law, from con artists to beat cops, from judges to crooks, astonish us with their casual disregard for the +natural laws+ of physics. Discussion
Picking the Winners 16 Darwin Award
Convince the Jury 21 Darwin Award
Faulty Aim Fatal 23 Darwin Award
Chain Saw Insurance 24 Darwin Award
Truck Stop 26 Darwin Award
Antlers Ahoy! 27 Darwin Award
Skeleton Key 29 Darwin Award
A Rocky Roll 30 Darwin Award
Booby Traps Trap Boob 31 Darwin Award
Caveat Emptor 33 Darwin Award
Jet Ski Spree 34 Darwin Award
Risky Reenactment 35 Darwin Award
Return to Trees Fails 37 Darwin Award
Flamingo Gunfight 38 Darwin Award
Tired Ammo 39 Honorable Mention
Short Arm of the Law 41 Honorable Mention
Familiar Knickers 42 Honorable Mention
I Shot the Sheriff 43 Honorable Mention
Parole Calling Card 45 Honorable Mention
West Virginia Alibi 46 Personal Account
Copper Clod 47
Chapter 2 Men
Omega MaleIn this chapter men meet their inner idiots as they test their testosterone levels by petting sharks, kissing snakes, and chasing beer cans. Only when it+s too late do these would-be alpha males unexpectedly realize they+re actually ... omega males. Discussion
Glowing Green Monkeys 50 Darwin Award
Slip Sliding Away 53 Darwin Award
Foolish Courage 55 Darwin Award
Mortal Insult 56 Darwin Award
I Can+t Swim! 58 Darwin Award
The Smoking Gun 60 Darwin Award
Library Return 61 Darwin Award
Cactus Crunch 63 Darwin Award
Well Trained 64 Darwin Award
Roadkill 65 Darwin Award
Blowhole 66 Darwin Award
Fuzzy Fights Back 68 Honorable Mention
Beer Chaser 71 Honorable Mention
Shark Petting Zoo 72 Honorable Mention
Student Film Folly 75 Honorable Mention
Twice the Pain 76 Personal Account
Rectum Nearly Killed+m 77 Personal Account
Repeat Offender 79 Personal Account
Wag the Dog 80 Personal Account
Sexy Snack Slays 82 Personal Account
Stag Party 83 Personal Account
Uncle Rick+s End 85
Chapter 3 Explosions
Short Sharp ShockThe destructive nature of fire and explosives has long been a lure for the more adventurous among us. But a fascination with all things flammable can lead to trouble, as shown by these eyebrow-searing tales of grenades, gelignite, bombs, gasoline, and flaming alcoholic desserts. Discussion
Flames 88 Darwin Award
Blown Away 93 Darwin Award
Wrong and Wronger 95 Darwin Award
Rocket Tester 96 Darwin Award
Saw a Grenade 98 Darwin Award
Fir Kills Tree Trimmer 99 Honorable Mention
Shell Necklace 101 Honorable Mention
Wet +n+ Dry Shop Vac 102 Honorable Mention
Phenomenal Failure 103 Honorable Mention
Pumped Up! 104 Honorable Mention
Hunger versus Fear 106 Honorable Mention
Baked Alaska 107 Personal Account
Famous Last Words 109 Personal Account
Acetylene Fun? Not! 111 Personal Account
Backyard Body Surfing 112 Personal Account
Blasting Expertise 114 Personal Account
Chemistry Lesson 116 Personal Account
Christmas Fireworks 118 Personal Account
Firebug 120 Personal Account
Flashy Chef 123 Per