Cover image for Martha, really and cruelly : the completely unauthorized autobiography
Martha, really and cruelly : the completely unauthorized autobiography
Connor, Tom.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Kansas City, MO : Andrews McMeel Pub., [2003]

Physical Description:
xvi, 126 pages ; 22 cm
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Publisher description
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PN6231.P3 C657 2003 Adult Non-Fiction Central Closed Stacks

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Who could have guessed that the Queen of Perpetual Perfection was headed for a fall' Connor and Downey, the wise guys who brought the civilized world Is Martha Stuart Living', naturally.Long before Martha Stewart's ImClone insider trading troubles made the front pages, the humor duo had started spoofing it up in anticipation of her own previously-announced-but-now-postponed autobiography, Martha, Really and Truly. Now, in Martha, Really and Cruelly, the best-selling humorists deliver their own version of events leading up to the scandal. 'Ours is exactly like hers, ' quips Connor. 'Okay, maybe not exactly, but pretty darn . . . well not even close, I guess. Never mind.' From opening chapters on 'Ancestors' and 'Infancy, ' cunning, greed, and treachery stalk this faux autobiography. Written in 'Martha's' voice, the book reveals early incidents of unethical playing-house tactics, questionable Kool-Aid stand practices, highly suspect home ec grades, and devious dating strategies. And that's before she's out of her teens! If anyone can take uncannily accurate aim at the Dominatrix of Domesticity, it's the errant Irishmen. Their breakout n

Author Notes

Tom Connor writes about houses and home design for The New York Times "Home," "Real Estate," and "Magazine" sections, and for other publications including House and Garden and Connecticut Magazine. He lives in Southport, Connecticut.

(Bowker Author Biography)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsp. xi
Introductionp. xiii
Ancestorsp. 1
Infancyp. 7
A Birthday Party Turns Uglyp. 11
Nutleyp. 17
Playing Housep. 23
Our Lady of Suspicious Conceptionp. 29
Home Ecp. 35
Collectingp. 41
Senior Promp. 45
Fruitcakesp. 51
Modelingp. 55
Becoming Mep. 61
Love Lifep. 65
Analysisp. 69
Poseursp. 77
Marriagep. 81
Wall Streetp. 85
Jurkey Hillp. 91
Imitation, Irritation, Litigation, Colonic Irrigationp. 97
Kmarthap. 103
Favorite Recipesp. 109
Dating Againp. 115
I'm Clonicp. 121