If this is so serious, why am I laughing? -- What makes you think you're wearing that? : clothing -- Car in gear, brain not : driving -- Duh--and other lovely words : language -- Wanted--an amigo, red hair optional : friends -- Homework is not an oxymoron : school stuff -- Work is not a four-letter word : chores and bedroom messes -- If there's "nothing to do"--they shouldn't be late : curfews -- My initials are not ATM : money -- No, I don't want to see your-- : piercings, tattoos, dyed hair, and other body decorations -- Déjà-vu : "you call that--?" : music -- A phone is not a body part : telephone use -- PG may not mean "pretty good" : television, movies, videos, and the internet -- Why I have no life, part 1 : sports and activities -- Why I have no life, part 2 : peer pressure and parties -- Candy is not a major food group : eating habits and disorders -- Stop saying your sibling's an alien : family relationships -- Late bloomers become full-flowered : dating and sex -- Vaulting the golden arches is not a life plan : goals -- Temptations--but not the singing group : smoking, alcohol, drugs -- Senioritis--early warning stage for arthritis : burnout -- Here is the church, there is the steeple--where is my son? : faith -- If this is so great, why am I groaning?