Cover image for The emotionally abusive relationship : how to stop being abused and how to stop abusing
Title:
The emotionally abusive relationship : how to stop being abused and how to stop abusing
Author:
Engel, Beverly.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
New Jersey : J. Wiley, [2002]

©2002
Physical Description:
v, 266 pages ; 25 cm
Language:
English
ISBN:
9780471212973
Format :
Book

Available:*

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RC569.5.P75 E542 2002 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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RC569.5.P75 E542 2002 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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RC569.5.P75 E542 2002 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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RC569.5.P75 E542 2002 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Summary

Summary

"Engel doesn't just describe-she shows us the way out."
-Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for the emotionally abusive relationship

"In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individuals and for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotional abuse."
-Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse
and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse

"This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotional abuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showing each party what emotional abuse is, how it affects the relationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamic relationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp the tools for change and really use them."
-Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
and owner of BPDCentral.com

The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world's leading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to do about it.

Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that you might be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both you and your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book is for you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how to identify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of your behavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow you and your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst in each other and stop the abuse.

By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to help themselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stop abusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need.


Author Notes

Beverly Engel is an internationally recognized therapist with an expertise in abuse, women's issues, relationships, and sexuality. She is the author of several nonfiction books. Engel has appeared on many national television shows, including Oprab, Donabue, Ricki Lake, Sally Jessy Raphael, and others


Reviews 1

Library Journal Review

According to therapist Engel (Partners in Recovery), "even the most loving person" is capable of emotional abuse-that is, "any non-physical behavior designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate." In a reasoned, sensible tone, she encourages readers to become responsible for their behavior and for changing it. Identified are ten "patterns of abuse" (verbal assault, character assassination, etc), different kinds of abusive relationships, action steps for cessation, and suggestions for recovery. Using dense writing and cogent examples, Engel clearly shows how this type of abuse, either intentional or unconscious, leads to low self-esteem and misery for one or both partners. A difficult and draining yet important read for those who suspect that their relationship has entered abusive territory, this book is highly recommended. For books on remedying less severe marital stresses, try Howard Markman and others' hokey but well-intentioned Fighting for Your Marriage. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.


Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsp. v
Introductionp. 1
Part 1 Identifying and Understanding Emotional Abusep. 7
1 Emotional Abuse--The Destroyer of Relationshipsp. 9
2 Patterns of Abusep. 26
3 Not All Emotionally Abusive Relationships Are Alikep. 44
4 Patterns That Begin in Childhood: Why We Abuse and Why We Take itp. 58
Part 2 Stopping the Abusep. 79
5 Action Steps for Those Being Abusedp. 80
6 Action Steps for the Abusive Partnerp. 114
7 Action Steps for the Abusive Couplep. 145
8 When Your Partner Has a Personality Disorderp. 162
9 When Your Abusiveness Stems from Your Personality Disorderp. 186
Part 3 Where Do You Go from Here?p. 213
10 Should You Stay or Should You Leave?p. 215
11 Preventing Emotional Abuse in the Futurep. 227
12 Continuing to Recoverp. 242
Epiloguep. 256
Referencesp. 257
Further Readingp. 258
Websites and Chat Roomsp. 261
Indexp. 262