Cover image for Stop controlling me! : what to do when someone you love has too much power over you
Stop controlling me! : what to do when someone you love has too much power over you
Stenack, Richard J.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, Inc., [2001]

Physical Description:
viii, 162 pages ; 23 cm
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
BF632.5 .S74 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
BF632.5 .S74 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area

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Control issues-the push and pull of a relationship-are a major factor in divorce when one partner resents acquiesing to the constant demands of the other. In Stop Controlling Me!, readers are taught to recognize the strategies that are employed to control them and how to avoid the emotional traps. Those that want to remain in the relationship are shown how to effect change. Those who want out are given tools to aid in the parting process.

Author Notes

Richard J. Stenack, PhD, is a psychologist and specialist in issues of control. He lives in Norwalk, Ohio.

Reviews 2

Publisher's Weekly Review

When couples have children, an acrimonious divorce can be painful for everyone involved. Couples can bear enormous resentment, anger and disappointment toward each other yet they still have to collaborate on one of the most complicated and difficult jobs in the world: child-rearing. Too often the intricacies of visitation, holiday plans and differences over discipline are left to lawyers, escalating the antagonism. Psychologists Elizabeth S. Thayer and Jeffrey Zimmerman argue that it doesn't have to be that way, and in The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce they help parents work harmoniously with their exes. Founders of Parents Allied to Co-Parent Effectively (PEACE), a service for high-conflict divorced or divorcing parents, the authors offer advice from conflict resolution to dealing with stepparents that could save parents thousands of dollars in legal fees and protect kids from needless misery and trauma. ( Aug.(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Library Journal Review

These two works both focus on helping families adjust to divorce, but they have very different audiences. In The Co-Parenting Survival Guide, psychologists Thayer and Zimmerman, cofounders of the P.E.A.C.E. program (Parents Allied to Co-Parent Effectively), present straightforward advice to parents in high-conflict divorces. Their aim is to help ex-spouses reduce strife and concentrate on their children's needs. After explaining the concept of conflict in early chapters, the authors go on to offer specific guidelines for defusing common confrontations, such as parenting plans, transitions, special events, and new relationships. Thayer and Zimmerman insist that even one parent acting alone can lessen conflict. References for further research are included. On the other hand, Not Damaged Goods is written for children of divorce. Walther heads a divorce counseling firm and has written and lectured widely on divorce. Each of the eight chapters, arranged according to the age of the child from infancy through adulthood (age 30 and beyond), shares stories to help readers clarify their emotions, questions to answer and apply to their own lives, and exercises for building self-esteem. While the idea of providing stories and activities in a workbook-type format certainly has merit, the scope of Not Damaged Goods is so large that only a few pages apply to any age group and is therefore fairly superficial, recommending it for large collections only. As pointed out in Judith Wallerstein's The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce and Stephanie Staal's The Love They Lost (both LJ 9/15/00) divorce has long-lasting effects, and children in those situations require special attention. The Co-Parenting Survival Guide builds on those findings and is recommended for all libraries. Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD(c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.