Pt. 1. Diaries and musings. The art of the diary ; Lies: notes on craft ; Becoming a composer ; Jackson Park ; "P" ; New York baths ; Mescaline in the Poconos ; Vocabulary ; Being alone ; Of vanity ; Interlude: on music -- Pt. 2. Music matters. Pictures and pieces ; Poetry of music ; The Beatles ; Edith Piaf and Billie Holiday ; Lotte Lenya ; Opera past, present, and future ; Ravel ; Poulenc ; Pelléas et Mélisande ; Carmen ; Bluebeard's castle ; Stravinsky ; Gershwin ; Interlude: notes on death -- Pt. 3. Portraits and memorials. Marc Blitzstein ; Martha Graham ; Paul Bowles ; Francis Poulenc ; Virgil Thomson ; Aaron Copland ; Samuel Barber ; Leonard Bernstein ; Franco Zeffirelli ; Frank O'Hara ; Julian Green ; Allen Ginsberg ; Tennessee Williams ; Truman Capote ; Envoi.