Cover image for Life after loss : conquering grief and finding hope
Title:
Life after loss : conquering grief and finding hope
Author:
Moody, Raymond A., Jr.
Personal Author:
Edition:
First edition.
Publication Information:
San Francisco : HarperSanFrancisco, 2001.
Physical Description:
xii, 228 pages : illustrations ; 22 cm
Language:
English
Added Author:
ISBN:
9780062517296

9780062517302
Format :
Book

Available:*

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Central Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
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Collins Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Concord Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Dudley Branch Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Grand Island Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Kenmore Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Marilla Free Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Orchard Park Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Riverside Branch Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Williamsville Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Audubon Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Frank E. Merriweather Library BF575.G7 M645 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
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Summary

Summary

Drawing from their own histories and those of many others, authors Raymond Moody Jr. and Dianne Arcangel help each of us to understand our unique grieving process and show that it is possible through grief to recover and achieve our true potential. The authors illuminate how knowledge of humanity's "greatest mystery" can help to ease the pain, allowing those of us with faith in "life after life" to transcend our fear and grief as we become more spiritually enlightened in the process.

INSIDE YOU WILL LEARN: How the grieving process can make you stronger

How to offer and receive sympathy

The difference between functional and dysfunctional grief

How to manage stress

When your suffering will end and how to rebuild your life

Filled with poignant stories of loss and growth, compassionate wisdom, and useful help, this life-changing book is a superb resource and the perfect companion to Moody's bestselling classic, Life After Life.


Reviews 2

Publisher's Weekly Review

Author of the seminal 1975 Life After Life and renowned expert on near-death experiences, Moody teams up with grief counselor Arcangel to provide a comprehensive and compassionate manual for the bereaved. Personal stories illustrate the short- and long-term effects of the death of a loved one, an event considered life's most stressful. With a clear and empathetic understanding of grief, Moody and Arcangel move beyond Kobler-Ross's stages of mourning to explore the variations in individual experience as influenced by such specific factors as the bereaved's personality and the circumstances surrounding the death, as well as more general factors, like cultural pressure. Arguing that "Grief is not an emotion but a process with a host of emotions," and that "each person is the expert for his or her grief alone," the authors emphasize the fallacy of assigning set timetables and linear phases to grieving. Offering plenty of helpful advice how to cope with stress, how to get sympathy, etc. Moody and Arcangel gently guide mourners through the four tasks of healthy grief (and here their debt to Kobler-Ross is clear): accepting the reality of the loss, working through the emotional pain, adjusting to the changed environment and moving forward. Going beyond loss can lead to "a spiritual rebirth" through increased appreciation, humility, tolerance, passion, clarity, sensitivity, spirituality and love. (Dec.) Forecast: On September 11, the audience for this work grew by the thousands. As of this writing, an author tour to selected cities (though none on the East Coast) is planned for January. (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved


Library Journal Review

A perfect companion to Moody's best-selling Life After Life (HarperCollins, 2001), this poignant resource allows the reader to utilize the process of grief, loss, or bereavement in a positive manner and offers pointers on how to offer or receive sympathy. Here, Moody and coauthor Arcangel write from personal insight and experience, incorporating stories of others' dealing with grief or loss that make this seem like a work of caring. Moody's earlier investigation of near-death experiences lends depth to his observations and helps make the steps offered to diminish the pain of grief, mourning, and bereavement practical and hopeful. Arcangel, as former director of the Kbler-Ross Center in Houston and a grief workshop facilitator, lends sensitivity to the treatment and discussion. A long section of supportive resources, including books, magazines, articles, newsletters, journals, associations, organizations, bereavement centers, crisis hotlines, support-group leads, and web sites is priceless in locating resources and encouraging follow-up. This powerful title is recommended for all public and academic libraries. [Look for a roundup of current books on bereavement in LJ's upcoming January issue. Ed.] Leroy Hommerding, Fort Myers Beach Lib. Dist., FL (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.


Excerpts

Excerpts

Life After Loss Conquering Grief and Finding Hope Chapter One Early Grief Experiences The child's sobs in the silence curses deeper than the strong man in his wrath. -- Elizabeth Barrett Browning The death of a loved one reactivates our very first experiences with separation and grief. People who grow stronger during times of loss are willing to explore their early encounters. Therefore, in this chapter we will examine five events that continue to influence us into adulthood: prebirth sensations, the experience of birth, attachment and loss, the introduction to the concept of death, and, finally, beliefs about mortality that were formed during childhood. Prebirth Influences Early on, psychologists disregarded prebirth recollections, insisting that fetuses were too underdeveloped to carry repercussions from intrauterine events. Numerous claims, however, have brought the issue forward. Mothers who were grief-stricken during their pregnancies attest that their children were born sorrowing. Other family members, and sometimes the children themselves, have made similar claims. Jenni's case carries reliable evidence that prebirth sensations can extend well into adulthood. "I feel myself in a deathly dark room" -- Dianne's Story For as long as she could remember, Jenni, a successful New York model, had carried deep-seated sorrow and fear, which she tried to resolve for many years. It was midsummer, 1988, and everybody who could had deserted Manhattan -- except Jenni. "I'm determined to resolve my emotional difficulties," she said when we met. "I've tried every kind of counseling, even hypnotherapy, but every time a therapist told me to go back in time I felt myself in a deathly dark room and became hysterical. I still feel this continuous nagging restlessness in my heart. I don't know where it belongs, and I'm tired of it complicating my relationships. I'm concerned about what I might uncover, but I have to do something. Dianne, will you help me?" Our two hypnotherapy sessions produced the same results. "I'm in a completely blackened room," Jenni relayed. "I have no hint of light in here. Voices...I hear loud muffled voices outside. Now I hear someone screaming...it sounds like my mother's voice. I'm being tossed around. I'm so scared in here. Someone...Mother..." Jenni was wincing and squirming; therefore, I reminded her, "We are in this together. You're safe." After she settled down, I asked, "What's going on now?" She tried to identify what was happening outside her confine, saying, "I can't tell. I think...someone...someone is hurting my mother...now I'm...I'm in danger...all alone in here...in the dark...tossing around...everything is..." and, with that, Jenni's body collapsed into her chair. Her breathing slowed. "What's going on now?" I asked. "I'm just in here," she answered. "How old are you?" "I don't know. I'm little, very little." "Who else is there?" I asked. "I'm trying hard," she answered, "but I can't tell." Only vague, isolated noises penetrated her motionless boundary. Then stillness, quiet, and finally an eerie peacefulness comforted Jenni as she rested inside her small enclosure. "Wow," she said, opening her eyes. "Whatever happened is stronger in my mind. I felt like I was a young child, maybe two or three years old, and hiding inside a closet. I was helpless, listening as someone was trying to hurt my mother. But how could I, inside a closet, have experienced jostling like that? It doesn't make sense. I have to find out what happened to me." The following week Jenni flew home to Asia to ask her parents about her childhood, but when she began to inquire, her mother uncontrollably sobbed. Her father scolded, "Don't you ever bring that up again!" After that, she approached her maternal grandmother, who disapprovingly dismissed her as well. "My trip ended in disappointment," reported Jenni, "because I had to leave without answers to my questions. But at least I know there must be a story." Haunted by her memories, Jenni was driven to uncover her past. Patiently, she waited for a family gathering. Sometime thereafter, she was certain that her cousin's large wedding was the perfect place for her to approach family members. With the flow of alcohol-fueled reminiscences, her questions seemed part of the fun. Jenni's aunt, at last, revealed the troublesome event. Many years ago, her father's jealous mistress had broken into their house, taken a butcher knife from the kitchen, and proceeded toward the bedroom with murderous intent. Jenni's mother, eight months pregnant with Jenni, awoke from a nap to see a figure creeping toward her. The mistress jumped onto the bed, cursing and lashing at the mother-to-be with the knife. Jenni's mother struggled desperately to defend herself and her unborn child, fending off her crazed attacker until her husband rushed into the room. A large muscular man, he grabbed the other woman from behind and was able to subdue her and drag her from the bedroom. Alone and too debilitated to move, Jenni's mother thanked God that the episode was over. The attack explained the sensations Jenni had felt during her hypnotherapy sessions -- her feeling of being tossed around while inside a dark enclosure, the loud and muffled voices, her sense of terror, and then, finally, a holy stillness. "That was a miracle," Jenni wrote in an e-mail to me ten years after our sessions together. "I know that Divine Providence presented those events -- my restlessness, the therapy, the vivid flashbacks, and then the family gathering. The experience taught me that God does not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound mind, and that has become my life theme. I went back to college and am now a licensed clinical social worker. I develop spiritually based programs for children in the United States and abroad. I've never before been this peaceful and happy." Clinicians and researchers have gathered a great deal of evidence that suggests... Life After Loss Conquering Grief and Finding Hope . Copyright © by Raymond Moody. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold. Excerpted from Life after Loss: Conquering Grief and Finding Hope by Raymond A. Moody, Dianne Arcangel All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

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