Cover image for Why can't I fall in love? : a 12-step program
Why can't I fall in love? : a 12-step program
Boteach, Shmuel.
Personal Author:
First edition.
Publication Information:
New York : Regan Books, 2001.
Physical Description:
xi, 292 pages ; 25 cm
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
BF575.L8 B65 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
BF575.L8 B65 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf

On Order



If any of this sounds familiar, you're not alone. We've become a nation of lonely serial daters, consumed by work, suspicious of romance, so unsure of finding lasting love that we settle for dispiriting blind dates and the company of friends. In short, we've forgotten how to fall in love.

But help is on the way. In Why Can't I Pall in Love? Shmuley Boteach, author of the international bestseller Kosher Sex, offers hope for anyone who wonders why love is so hard to find. Bringing love into your life, he counsels, is about more than just sizing up candidates and waiting for a ring. It's about finding your way back to innocence -- back to the Garden, where Adam and Eve invented romance.

Combining anecdotes with practical tips, Boteach proposes a radical new approach to love, an approach designed to help singles and those in long-term relationships alike. And his Twelve LoveSteps program describes measures anyone can take to make the dream of love a reality, including:

Heal your love wound Call a moratorium on dating Let go of people who are wasting your time Recapture your mental virginity

Filled with helpful exercises -- including a Declaration of Dependence to be signed and shared with potential mates -- Why Can't I Fall in Love? offers a refreshingly positive strategy to help you embrace love...and change your life.

Author Notes

Shmuley Boteach was born in Los Angeles, California on November 19, 1966. He received his rabbinic ordination in 1988 from the Chabad-Lubavitch Hasidic movement in New York City. He has written over 20 books including Kosher Adultery; Kosher Sex; Parenting with Fire; and The Kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life. He is the host of the television show Shalom in the Home on TLC and of the Rabbi Shmuley Show on the Oprah and Friends national radio network. He also writes a weekly syndicated column for The Jerusalem Post.

(Bowker Author Biography)

Reviews 2

Publisher's Weekly Review

After a long, preachy start denouncing contemporary society with its high divorce rate and "commitment-phobic" singles, idealizing marriages of the past and articulating some gender stereotypes that may turn off some readers the author of Kosher Sex ends up delivering a wealth of solid, specific and practical advice for the lonely. Refusing to accept protestations of contentment from singles, Rabbi Boteach insists that commitment to a loving relationship is fundamental to human well-being and happiness. He blames the widespread inability to find long-lasting love on consumer habits that have crept into current dating mores (e.g., waiting for the "best" person to marry), and spending too much time on love-substitutes (work, friends, sex, independence) that prevent love from entering the lives of men and women alike. With his usual sprinkling of religious references (Adam and Eve are used as relationship role models), Boteach encourages singles to acknowledge their loneliness and work on their own behaviors and choices instead of merely lamenting the lack of worthy mates or lauding the joys of the single life. He recommends "emotional nakedness" before the other kind, and a complete shift from "dating for sport" to dating for love and marriage. An enthusiastic advocate for marriage, although (or perhaps because) his own parents were unhappily married and ultimately divorced, Boteach firmly places responsibility for finding and maintaining love on the shoulders of each reader. (May) Forecast: A lively and popular talk-show guest, Rabbi Boteach will make appearances on a 25-city radio campaign and a five-city author tour, though his target audience of singles may not be as likely to buy this type of dating/marriage book as they would a book on Kosher Sex. (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Library Journal Review

Rabbi Boteach, the popular author of Kosher Sex, argues that society is teaching us not to loveÄand offers some countermeasures. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.