Cover image for The 6 secrets of a lasting relationship : how to fall in love again--and stay there
The 6 secrets of a lasting relationship : how to fall in love again--and stay there
Goulston, Mark.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
New York : Putnam, [2001]

Physical Description:
ix, 319 pages ; 24 cm
General Note:
Includes index.
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
HQ734 .G144 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
HQ734 .G144 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
HQ734 .G144 2001 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf

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This straightforward guide explains how Chemistry, Respect, Enjoyment, Acceptance, Trust, and Empathy are the pillars that support a strong, successful relationship -- and how couples can repair those pillars, protect them against the long-term wear and tear of stress, boredom, and bickering, and build a lasting, satisfying love.

Author Notes

Mark Goulston, M.D., is a corporate consultant who works with executives, managers, and line workers to help them get out of their own way so they can realize the success that their skills, talents, and abilities deserve. His clients include Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, GE, White & Case, Eli Lilly and Company, Disney, Kodak, and the FBI. He writes "The Leading Edge" column for Fast Company. He was selected as one of America's Top Psychiatrists for 2004-2005 by the Consumers' Research Council of America. Dr. Goulston is the author of Get Out of Your Own Way and Six Secrets of a Lasting Relationship .
Philip Goldberg, a novelist and screenwriter, has authored or coauthored sixteen books.

Reviews 1

Publisher's Weekly Review

In an intelligent if unexciting work that benefits from Goulston's 25 years as a psychiatrist, he observes that relationship problems stem from a breakdown of any of the six essential traits he's grouped under the acronym CREATE: chemistry, respect, enjoyment, acceptance, trust and empathy. For each trait, he offers self-evaluations and exercises that elicit open dialogue between partners working together, in either written or verbal form. Though he sprinkles the text with pithy ideas he calls "Usable Insights" (e.g., "Constantly asking your partner to tell you you're attractive is unattractive"), the heart of the book is in its fictionalized accounts of real-life cases. Many of these stories are genuinely moving, though some are too easily resolved; overall, they effectively illustrate the issues. Though Goulston apparently wants to counter John Gray's gender characterizations by declaring that men and women are not from different planets, but from earth, he still serves up some stereotypes (e.g., men who resort to type as sullen and withdrawn; women who are critical and demanding). Some of his comments about sex may raise some eyebrows (he connects the availability of Internet porn to a "masturbation epidemic among married men"). This solid effort should appeal to mature couples willing to do the work he suggests to shore up long-term marriages. (Feb.) Forecast: The lack of a gimmick or obvious sales handle will make this book harder to sell in the crowded relationship market, though that may give it some durability in the long run. A first serial to Ladies Home Journal and Goulston's syndicated column at will insure exposure at publication. (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Table of Contents

Introductionp. 1
1. The 6 Pillars of Lasting Love: How to CREATE a Solid Foundationp. 7
2. Chemistry: Everything You Wanted to Ask About Sex but Were Afraid to Knowp. 39
3. Respect: Find Out What It Means to Youp. 95
4. Enjoyment: Eat, Drink and Be Merryp. 137
5. Acceptance: You're OK, I'm OKp. 175
6. Trust: Believing and Being Believedp. 215
7. Empathy: Walking a Mile in Your Partner's Shoesp. 257
8. How to Stay in Love: Keeping the 6 Secretsp. 289
Indexp. 309