Giving sorrow words : families and funerals -- In loving memory : composing a service -- Inviting holy space : prayers and meditations, candles and poetry -- Decisions : thinking when you are least able to think -- Soul sketch : creating a memorial portrait -- All deaths are not equal : the many faces of death -- Family ties and family lies : when your family is alienated -- Earth, air, fire, water : committal ceremonies -- The seasons of grief : rituals through the first year and beyond.