Cover image for Beyond codependency : and getting better all the time
Beyond codependency : and getting better all the time
Beattie, Melody.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Center City, MN : Hazelden, [1989]

Physical Description:
xiii, 252 pages ; 22 cm
Subject Term:
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
RC569.5.C63 B43 1989 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area

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In simple, straightforward terms, Beattie takes you into the territory beyond codependency, into the realm of recovery and relapse, family-of-origin work and relationships, surrender and spirituality.

You're learning to let go, to live your life free of the grip of someone else's problems. And yet you find you've just started on the long journey of recovery. Let Melody Beattie, author of the classic Codependent No More , help you along your way. A guided tour past the pitfalls of recovery, Beyond Codependency is dedicated to those struggling to master the art of self-care. It is a book about what to do once the pain has stopped and you've begun to suspect that you have a life to live. It is about what happens next.In simple, straightforward terms, Beattie takes you into the territory beyond codependency, into the realm of recovery and relapse, family-of-origin work and relationships, surrender and spirituality. With personal stories, hard-won insights, and activities, her book teaches the lessons of dealing with shame, growing in self-esteem, overcoming deprivation, and getting past fatal attractions long enough to find relationships that work.

Author Notes

Melody Beattie is the author of numerous best-selling books, including "Playing It by Heart," "Stop Being Mean to Yourself," "Codependent No More," "Beyond Codependency," "The Language of Letting Go," "Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps," & "The Lessons of Love." Beattie's writing draws on the wisdom of Twelve Step healing, Christianity, & Eastern religions. Her loyal readers continue to find her books accessible, practical, & filled with universal truths. She lives in Malibu, California.

(Bowker Author Biography)

Reviews 2

Publisher's Weekly Review

Adult children of alcoholics and drug abusers will want to peruse this encouraging sequel to Beattie's groundbreaking book on the dynamics of codependency ( Codependent No More ). She focuses here on the process of recovering from the self-defeating behaviors adopted as survival tactics by adult children of families rendered dysfunctional by parental alcoholism or similar traumas. Beattie's strength is short, sharply delineated portraits of ordinary people learning to recognize and avoid unhealthy practices--obsessive concern for the welfare of others at one's own expense, lack of self-esteem, etc. The author stresses the practical, offering possible ways to cope with difficulties and suggesting ``activities'' (``What would a diagram of your recovery look like?'') at the end of each chapter. And Beattie maintains the sensitive, supportive tone epitomized in the opening chapter: ``Let's love ourselves for how far we've come. Let's see how far we can go.'' The uninitiated may be put off initially by her jargon, but the author's wisdom and common sense soon become apparent. 175,000 first printing; $125,000 ad/promo; author tour. (May) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Library Journal Review

Codependency is a term applying not only to the spouses of alcoholics and drug abusers, but to any ``person who has let someone else's behavior affect him or her, and is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.'' In her best-selling Codependent No More , and now here, Beattie draws on her own experience and on the insights developed by a whole U.S. subculture devoted to treatment and to participation in 12-step programs such as AA and Al-Anon. There are a lot of books circulating in this subculture, but Beattie reaches out to the mass market. She covers the usual codependency topics--oneself and one's needs, family of origin, intimacy, boundaries, conflict resolution, children, relationships, and relapse or recycle--but places them all in the infrequently considered context of how to keep going with a recovery process once it's begun.-- Janice Dunham, John Jay Coll. Lib., New York (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.



Introduction This is a book about recovery. Actually, this is a book about continuing our recoveries. I wrote it for people recovering from the ways they've allowed themselves to be affected by other people and their problems. I wrote it for people recovering from codependency, chemical dependency, and adult children issues. I wrote it for people struggling to master the art of self-care. Codependent No More , my last book, was about stopping the pain and gaining control of our lives. This book is about what to do when the pain has stopped and we've begun to suspect we have lives to live. It's about what happens next. We'll look at recovery, relapse, doing our family of origin work, and what to do about it after we've done it. We'll talk about relationships. We'll talk about concepts like surrender and spirituality too. We'll talk about many ideas: dealing with shame, growing in self- esteem, overcoming deprivation, sharing recovery with our children, and getting beyond our fatal attractions long enough to find relationships that work. When I began this manuscript, I had a long list of scattered bits of information I wanted to parlay. I wasn't certain how these ideas would fit together. When I stopped trying to control, the book took on, as some do, a unique and occasionally surprising life of its own. Codependent No More was about beginning our recoveries. This book is about the core issues of recovery: working on the nuts and bolts, and fine-tuning. In retrospect, it has emerged primarily as a book about growing in self-love, and our ability to affirm and nurture ourselves. A serendipity of that process is growing in our capacity to love others and to let them, and God, love us. This book is based on research, my personal and professional experiences, and my opinion. Throughout, I'll attempt to attribute all ideas, theories, and quotes to appropriate sources. Sometimes it's difficult to do that in the recovery field because many people say many of the same things. The case histories I use are true. I've changed names and details to protect people's privacy. I've included activities at the end of some chapters. You can explore your answers in a separate journal or notebook. Also, this book is not about how to change or help the other person. It's about knowing it's okay for us to continue helping ourselves, to better lives and improved relationships. An old adage says, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Another, however, says, "You teach what you most need to learn." Writers, they say, are teachers. "It is possible," wrote Lawrence Block, "to see everything we write as a letter to ourselves, designed to convey to one portion of ourselves the lesson that another portion has already learned." I have learned from writing this book. I hope you gain as much from reading it. Excerpted from Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time by Melody Beattie All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.