Cover image for The lies we tell ourselves
The lies we tell ourselves
Thurman, Chris.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Nashville : T. Nelson Publishers, [1999]

Physical Description:
x, 313 pages ; 23 cm
Format :


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Item Holds
BV4501.2 .T5234 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Central Closed Stacks

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Dr. Chris Thurman brings understanding to the lies we tell ourselves in our daily lives. How do they damage us, why are we telling them, what can we do about them? In The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Dr. Thurman not only answers the questions, he brings about the freedom that can only come from believing the truth.

Author Notes

Dr. Chris Thurman is a psychologist, bestselling author, and popular seminar speaker. He and his wife, Holly, have three children and live in Austin, Texas.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsp. vii
Prologuep. ix
Part 1 The Lies We Tell Ourselvesp. 1
1. The Truth About the Lies We Tell Ourselvesp. 3
2. Self-Liesp. 12
"I Must Be Perfect."
"I Must Have Everyone's Love and Approval."
"It Is Easier to Avoid Problems Than to Face Them."
"I Can't Be Happy Unless Things Go My Way."
"My Unhappiness Is Somebody Else's Fault."
3. Worldly Liesp. 28
"You Can Have It All."
"My Worth Is Determined by My Performance."
"Life Should Be Easy."
Life Should Be Fair."
"You Shouldn't Have to Wait for What You Want."
"People Are Basically Good."
4. Marital Liesp. 47
"All My Marital Problems Are My Spouse's Fault."
"If Our Marriage Takes Hard Work, We Must Not Be Right for Each Other."
"My Spouse Can and Should Meet All of My Emotional Needs."
"My Spouse Owes Me (for All I Do)."
"I Shouldn't Have to Change Who I Am to Make Our Marriage Better."
"My Spouse Should Be Like Me."
5. Distortion Liesp. 61
"Magnification: Making a Mountain Out of a Molehill"
"Personalization: Taking Everything Personally"
"Polarization: Making Everything Black or White"
"Selective Abstraction: Missing the Forest for the Trees"
"Overgeneralization: History Always Repeats Itself"
"Emotional Reasoning: Feelings Equal Facts"
6. Religious Liesp. 77
"God's Love Must Be Earned."
"God Hates the Sin and the Sinner."
"Because I'm a Christian, God Will Protect Me from Pain and Suffering."
"All My Problems Are Caused by My Sins."
"It Is My Christian Duty to Meet All the Needs of Others."
"A Good Christian Doesn't Feel Angry, Anxious, or Depressed."
"God Can't Use Me Unless I'm Spiritually Strong."
Part 2 Telling Ourselves the Truthp. 101
7. The Truth About the Truthp. 103
8. To Err Is Humanp. 116
9. You Can't Please Everyonep. 125
10. There Is No Gain without Painp. 132
11. You Don't "Have to" Do Anythingp. 141
12. The Virtue Lies in the Struggle, Not the Prizep. 149
13. Life Is Difficultp. 158
14. You Reap What You Sowp. 167
15. You Are Not Entitled to Anythingp. 176
16. Emotional Pain Is Goodp. 185
17. You Are Going to Diep. 194
18. Is There an Ultimate Source of Truth?p. 203
19. The Truth About God and the Truth About Youp. 211
Part 3 Living the Truthp. 229
20. Doing the Truthp. 231
The Battle for Our Minds The Truth Workout
Week 1 Identifying the Lies You Tell Yourself
Week 2 Knowing Your A-B-C's
Week 3 Challenging Your Lies with the Truth
Week 4 Dealing with Past Events
Week 5 Overcoming Perfectionism
Week 6 Defeating the Need for Approval
Week 7 Facing Problems
Week 8 Discovering Your Identity and Worth
Week 9 Rejecting Your "Have To's"
Week 10 Facing Your Own Death
Week 11 Being Needy, Meeting Needs
Week 12 Developing the Mind of Christ
Epiloguep. 281
Appendix A Secular and Biblical Teachings on the Importance of "Right" Thinking for Emotional and Spiritual Healthp. 285
Appendix B Secular and Biblical Truths for Defeating the Lies We Tell Ourselvesp. 287
Appendix C Biblical Support for the Ten Truths Necessary for Emotional and Spiritual Healthp. 294
Appendix D Biblical Teachings on Truthp. 303
Appendix E Recommended Readingsp. 307
Notesp. 308
About the Authorp. 313