Cover image for The kid : what happened after my boyfriend and I decided to go get pregnant : an adoption story
The kid : what happened after my boyfriend and I decided to go get pregnant : an adoption story
Savage, Dan.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
New York, N.Y. : Dutton, [1999]

Physical Description:
246 pages ; 23 cm
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
HV875.72.U6 S28 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
HV875.72.U6 S28 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area

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Welcome to Dan Savage's world: He's gay, dispenses sex advice to "breeders"(straight people), and at age thirty-two, finds himself in a long-term relationship. He decides he wants a baby in the house, his boyfriend agrees, and so they set out to make a family. Unfortunately, this also makes him a target of oppressive rhetoric among certain conservative groups, and a sellout to his gay friends. But all he can think about are the joys of parenthood--if only the birth mother weren't an addict while pregnant; if only people would stop asking "Why do you want a kid?"; and if only Dan could stop offending all the infertile straight couples at the adoption agency. The Kid is a no-holds-barred attack on conservative "values," and also a celebration of family and the lengths some people--gay and straight--will go to in order to create one of their own.

Author Notes

Dan Savage lives in Seattle, Washington.

Reviews 3

Booklist Review

In 1997, the author and his partner, Terry Miller, decided to become parents. They explored the various options currently available to gay men: biological children conceived with women friends, traditional adoption, and "open" adoption, which allows the birth parent(s) to select the adoptive parent(s) from a pool and then structures an on-going relationship between the two parties. Choosing "open" adoption, which is legal only in three states, the two men completed the paperwork and anticipated a long wait. To their surprise, they were picked within days by Melissa, a homeless teenager who travelled nomadically with friends, "spare-changing" strangers to get by. As Melissa's due date approached, the relationship that developed among the three parents brought concerns, heartbreak, and finally joy. Savage is a fluid, conversational writer, and fans of his advice journalism will be prepared for his brash style: crude, funny, and not always kind (especially regarding Miller's family). But more important than kind, Savage is honest and informed. Many readers, including gays who believe that adoption is prohibited to them, will welcome Savage's book like a visit from a generous and irreverent stork. --James Klise

Publisher's Weekly Review

Known for his nationally syndicated sex advice columns (collected in Savage Love) and as a regular contributor to NPR's This American Life, Savage recounts what he and his boyfriend of two years went through to adopt a child. After investigating the possibility of becoming biological parents with lesbian friends, Savage and his partner, Terry, pursued an open adoption through an agency. They met Melissa, a homeless "gutter punk," whom they liked, although they worried that she drank and took drugs recreationally at the beginning of her pregnancy. In the end, though, everything worked out for everyone involved. Savage is best when detailing the emotional ups and downs that came with revealing that he was even considering gay parenting, including his anxiety about the possible disapproval of both gay and straight friends, about the ways his sex life would change and about buying the right "baby things." Employing the blunt tone of his columns, Savage humorously and honestly discusses his sexual practices (including bondage and fantasies involving actor Matt Damon), his ambivalence about being a parent and his rage at his homophobic grandmother. His forthrightness is brave and daring in the face of social opposition to gay parenting. However, though Savage's chatty, mercilessly satiric style is effective in his columns and may be intended here to balance the optimistic underpinnings of his journey into parenthood, in this sustained narrative it wears a bit thin. (Sept.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Library Journal Review

One major trend in the sexual minority community in the late 1990s has been the addition of children, by adoption or cooperative parenting, to their families. Several books have been written detailing the experiences of those creating new families, most notably Jesse Green's recent The Velveteen Father (LJ 6/15/99). Now Savage, a well-known sex-advice columnist, weighs in on this discussionÄwith inimitable wit and graceÄtelling the story of how he and boyfriend Terry adopted a baby. One of the most honest gay writers around, Savage mingles personal insights about the complicated adoption process with analysis of contemporary issues. He is funny and touching without being mean or corny. Though some writers of personal experience tend toward whimsy overload (notably Garrison Keillor), Savage keeps such tendencies in check. This book is such a good read that even those who have thought a lot about gay parenting will find their horizons expanded. For most public libraries and academic libraries documenting contemporary culture.ÄDavid S. Azzolina, Univ. of Pennsylvania Libs., Philadelphia (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.