Cover image for Don't sweat the small stuff in love : simple ways to nurture and strengthen your relationships while avoiding the habits that break down your loving connection
Title:
Don't sweat the small stuff in love : simple ways to nurture and strengthen your relationships while avoiding the habits that break down your loving connection
Author:
Carlson, Richard, 1961-2006.
Publication Information:
New York : Hyperion, 1999.
Physical Description:
269 pages ; 18 cm
Language:
English
ISBN:
9780786865093
Format :
Book

Available:*

Library
Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Status
Central Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
Searching...
Newstead Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
Searching...
Angola Public Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
Searching...
Grand Island Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
Searching...
Kenmore Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
Searching...
Lancaster Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
Searching...
Anna M. Reinstein Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
Searching...
Julia Boyer Reinstein Library BF575.L8 C24 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
Searching...

On Order

Summary

Summary

North Americas number one stress-reducing guru and New York Times bestselling author of the Dont Sweat the Small Stuff series now offers simple strategies for improving love relationships. Hes helped millions of readers reduce the stress in their everyday lives, with their families, and in their jobs. Now Dr. Richard Carlson shows readers how to apply his immensely popular and helpful philosophy to one of the most difficult aspects of life; the romantic relationship. While depression, heartache, anger, and insecurity are widely associated with romantic love, the concept of stress is rarely identified as a problem. Yet we all have worries about our most important relationships, and this simple and elegant book outlines strategies for overcoming those fears. In one hundred brief, beautifully written essays, Dr. Carlson shows readers how not to overreact to a loved ones criticism, how to appreciate your spouse in new ways, how to get past old angers, and many others ways to improve and increase the joy and pleasure that can and should be a part of any partnership.


Author Notes

Author and psychotherapist Richard Carlson was born on May 16, 1961 and grew up in Piedmont, California. He received his undergraduate degree from Pepperdine University, his Ph.D. in psychology from Sierra University, and an honorary law degree from Pepperdine University. Before becoming a full-time author, he was a psychotherapist in private practice. His wrote 30 books that deal with psychological and spiritual health, including the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series. He was a supporter of the National Center for Family Literacy. He died of cardiac arrest on December 13, 2006.

(Bowker Author Biography)


Table of Contents

Introductionp. 1
1. Mostly, Be Palsp. 5
2. Learn to Laugh at Yourselfp. 8
3. Let It Go Alreadyp. 11
4. Turn Up the Heatp. 14
5. Consider That the Grass Probably Isn't Greenerp. 17
6. Throw Away Your Scorecardp. 19
7. Be Kind First (Kris)p. 22
8. Don't Use Your Partner as a Punching Bag!p. 25
9. Ask the Question, "Whose Quirk Is This, Anyway?" (Kris)p. 27
10. Talk to Him His Wayp. 29
11. Avoid the Words, "I Love You, BUT"p. 32
12. Fill Your Life with Opportunities to Express Lovep. 34
13. Look for the Giftsp. 37
14. Mark Your Calendar (Kris)p. 39
15. Share an Insightp. 41
16. Stay Away from Ultimatumsp. 44
17. Allow Time for Transitionsp. 47
18. Don't Fight Unless the Mood Is Rightp. 50
19. Know Your Own Valuep. 54
20. Put a Positive Spin on Itp. 57
21. Remember That Your Partner Can't Read Your Mindp. 60
22. Set a Good Example (Kris)p. 62
23. Don't Fight over Stupid Thingsp. 64
24. Become a World-Class Listenerp. 67
25. Experience a Sudden Shiftp. 70
26. Avoid the "I've Had a Really Hard Day" Habitp. 73
27. Let Him Buy His Lunchp. 75
28. Surprise Her with Complimentsp. 78
29. Stop Wishing She (or He) Were Differentp. 81
30. Don't Put Your Partner On the Spotp. 84
31. Think Before You Speakp. 87
32. Discover What Part You Are Playingp. 90
33. Finish the Jobp. 93
34. Think Gentle Thoughtsp. 95
35. Stay Compassionatep. 97
36. Jump-Start Your Relationshipp. 100
37. Don't Allow Passing Thoughts to Turn into Issuesp. 102
38. Become a Low-Maintenance Partnerp. 105
39. Do It Your Wayp. 108
40. Walke Up and Think about Three Things You Love about Herp. 111
41. Choose Peace over Irritationp. 113
42. Don't Sweat the Occasional Criticismp. 116
43. Stay Playfulp. 119
44. Stop Rehearsing Unhappinessp. 121
45. Don't Be the Hero of Every Storyp. 124
46. Make the Fresh-Start Commitmentp. 127
47. Avoid Correcting Each Otherp. 129
48. Sit in Silencep. 132
49. Take Responsibility for Your Own Happinessp. 134
50. Master the ARt of the Heart-to-Heartp. 137
51. Don't Confuse Your Own Frustration with a Problem in the Relationshipp. 140
52. Stop Being So Defensivep. 143
53. Be Consistently Gratefulp. 146
54. Don't Fall into the "I've Got Time for Everyone but You" Trapp. 148
55. Organize a Charitable Project Togetherp. 151
56. Ask Yourself the Question, "In the Scheme of Things, Is This Really That Big a Deal?"p. 154
57. Don't Continue Doing the Same Things and Expect a Different Resultp. 156
58. Respond with Lovep. 159
59. Look in the Mirrorp. 162
60. Allow Your Partner to Be Humanp. 165
61. Make Peace with Changep. 168
62. Don't Overanalyze the Flawsp. 171
63. Choose to Be Supportive (Kris)p. 173
64. Jump Ahead and Look Backp. 175
65. Remember the Equation: A Happy Person Equals a Happy Partnerp. 178
66. Ask for "Dream Updates"p. 181
67. Never Underestimate the Power of Lovep. 183
68. Don't Let Your Children Come between Youp. 186
69. Learn to Deflect Occasional Uncalled-for Commentsp. 189
70. Don't Come Home Frazzledp. 192
71. Ask Your Partner the Question, "What's the Most Difficult Part of Being in a Relationship with Me?"p. 195
72. Don't Question Her (or His) Motivesp. 198
73. Graciously Receive Complimentsp. 201
74. Let Go of Your Top Three Pet Peevesp. 203
75. Avoid Absolute Statements (of a Negative Nature)p. 205
76. Predict the Predictablep. 207
77. Stop Treating Everything Like an Emergencyp. 209
78. Use Letters as a Communication Toolp. 211
79. Don't Make Your Partner Walk on Eggshellsp. 214
80. Make a Plan to Become More Lovingp. 217
81. Gracefully Accept Apologiesp. 220
82. Reflect, for a Moment, on All You Don't Dop. 222
83. Practice Regular Stress Preventionp. 225
84. Don't Speak for Your Spouse (or Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Fiancee, or Anyone Else)!p. 228
85. Conspire to Inspirep. 230
86. Cast Away Jealousy (Kris)p. 232
87. Allow Your Partner a Few Eccentricitiesp. 235
88. Stop Being So Demandingp. 238
89. When in Doubt, Pausep. 240
90. Practice Unconditional Lovep. 242
91. Go Ahead and Do Itp. 245
92. Say the Words, "I'm Sorry"p. 247
93. Stay Away from Comparisonsp. 250
94. Learn from a Teenp. 252
95. Step Aside from Stubbornnessp. 255
96. Raise Your Standard of Livingp. 257
97. Allow Your Partner the Space to "Lose it" Every Once in a Whilep. 260
98. Balance the Act (Kris)p. 262
99. Remember the Magicp. 265
100. Treasure Each Otherp. 267

Google Preview