Cover image for Women who stay with men who stray : what every woman needs to know about men and infidelity
Women who stay with men who stray : what every woman needs to know about men and infidelity
Then, Debbie.
Personal Author:
First edition.
Publication Information:
New York : Hyperion, [1999]

Physical Description:
xxiii, 277 pages ; 24 cm
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
HQ806 .T48 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
HQ806 .T48 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
HQ806 .T48 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf

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Did you know 90% of men earning more than $75,000 a year are unfaithful, 70% of men stray after two years of marriage, 85% of men who cheat on their wives remain in the marriage, 90% of women who suspect their husbands of infidelity are right. We hear evidence of it in the news every night, prominent husbands cheating on their wives. Hillary Rodham Clinton, Jacqueline Kennedy, Princess Diana, and many others chose not to divorce, and continued to lead successful, productive lives within their marriages. But should a woman stand by her cheating man This provocative, groundbreaking study of infidelity has some surprising answers. Dr. Debbie Then, an expert psychologist with expertise in marital behavior, examines the social, personal, and financial forces at work in many marriages. She explains why men cheat, how this behavior affects the marriage, and what a woman can do to survive this humiliating situation. Offering nonjudgemental advice on how to handle infidelity, she emphasizes that whether they stay or go, women have to make their own lives as fulfilling as possible. A husbands cheating may devastate a woman, but it doesnt have to destroy her.

Reviews 1

Publisher's Weekly Review

Given the recent intense media coverage of the hows and whys of male adultery, it's tough for a book to stand out on what has become a groaning shelf of self-help books on the subject. In this journalistic study of how married women cope with their husbands' infidelities, California psychologist Then, who specializes in women's self-esteem issues, draws on the stories of 100 husbands, wives and lovers for whom unfaithfulness is a fact of life. The book's dominant voice, however, belongs to unhappy and humiliated women who have chosen to remain with their spouses, who deal with their pain in damaging ways, such as through denial, substance abuse, overspending and their own affairs. The author describes the emotional, social and financial factors that prompt some women to tolerate such behavior, and she provides a framework for those who are deciding whether to stay married to an unfaithful man. The underlying message that life is miserable for women who stay is delivered with a curious lack of empathy. In the end, the research sample limited to subjects from white, middle- and upper-middle income backgrounds, colorless writing and empty pronouncements such as "get a life" hobble this effort, although women who have left, or are about to leave, their marriages will find reinforcement for their decisions. Agent, Jennifer Gates of the Zachary Shuster Agency.Author tour. (May) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved