Cover image for If the Buddha dated : handbook for finding love on a spiritual path
If the Buddha dated : handbook for finding love on a spiritual path
Kasl, Charlotte Sophia, 1938-
Publication Information:
New York : Penguin/Arkana, 1999.
Physical Description:
xv, 212 pages ; 19 cm
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
BQ4570.L6 K37 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area

On Order



Zen and the art of falling in love . . .

At once practical, playful, and spiritually sound, this book is about creating a new love story in your life. Drawing from Christian, Buddhist, Sufi and other spiritual traditions, If the Buddha Dated shows how to find a partner without losing yourself. Kasl, a practicing psychotherapist, workshop leader, and Reiki healer for thirty years, offers practical wisdom on using the path to love as a means of awakening.

If the Buddha Dated teaches that when you stay loyal to your spiritual journey, you will bring curiosity, fascination, and a light heart to the dating process.

Author Notes

Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D. , a practicing therapist and nationally recognized workshop leader for more than 20 years, has had lifelong connections to feminism, Buddhism, Quaker practice, and Reiki healing. The author of several books including Finding Joy , she lives in Lolo, Montana.

Table of Contents

Introduction: What This Book Can and Can't Do for youp. xiii
Part 1 Preparation For Love: Walking a Path of Truth and Loving Kindness
1 If the Buddha Dated--or Anyone on a Spiritual Pathp. 3
2 Ground Yourself with Spiritual Wisdomp. 6
3 What Is This Longing for an Intimate Relationship?p. 16
4 Stay Loyal to Your Journeyp. 20
5 Notice the Stories You Tell Yourselfp. 25
6 Accept the Dance of Oneness and Separatenessp. 29
7 Be Willing to Cook in the Spiritual Firep. 34
8 Be Guided by Spirit, Not Egop. 38
9 Spiritual Equality: One Set of Rules for Men and Womenp. 43
10 Practice Loving Kindness to Yourself and Othersp. 50
Part 2 Awaken Your Desire: Who Are You? What do You Want?
11 Call Out to the Universep. 55
12 Seek a True Equalp. 59
13 Explore the Ways You Bondp. 62
14 Fused or Free?: Understanding the Path to Intimacyp. 69
15 Define What You Wantp. 75
16 Define What You Have to Givep. 79
17 When to Trust the Power of Attractionp. 81
18 Free Your Heart-Make Peace with your Parentsp. 85
19 Resolve "Unfinished Business" with Family, Friends, and Past Lovers or Spousesp. 88
20 Experience the Spacious Mind: Observe Your Limiting Beliefs About How People Meetp. 94
Part 3 Enter the Sacred Fire: The Journey Toward Intimacy
21 Crawling in Love: Explore the Benefits of Staying Consciousp. 99
22 Using Ads, Dating Services, and Singles Clubsp. 101
23 Remember, First Dates Are Just a Moment in Timep. 108
24 Children and Dating: Enough Love for Allp. 113
25 Notes on Same-Sex Dating: Free from the Rulesp. 116
26 When the Buddha Makes Love: Sexuality, Spiritualityp. 120
27 How to Find Yourself When You Lose Yourself: Take Refuge in the Buddhap. 127
28 Notice the Flow of Giving and Receivingp. 131
Part 4 Keep Loyal to Your Journey: Stay Awake, Stay Aware
29 Make Friends with Your Fearsp. 135
30 Make Friends with Your Ambivalencep. 138
31 Practice Tonglin: A Meditation for Healing and Compassionp. 140
32 Tonglin Meditation for Couplesp. 144
33 What to Do When you Want to Runp. 145
34 Be a Spiritual Warrior: Set a Bottom Linep. 149
35 What's That Buzzing in My Brain?: Handling Obsessionsp. 156
36 Set Your Attraction Radar to Find a Loving Partnerp. 159
37 Is It Written in the Stars--or on a Page?: Astrology and Graphologyp. 160
38 Accept Impermanence, Loss, and Joyp. 165
Part 5 Going Deeper: Create a Durable Fire
39 Going Deeper: Finding Love Beneath Illusionsp. 171
40 The Sacred Circle of Beginnings and Endingsp. 174
41 Stair Steps to Heaven: Get in, Get out, Move on, and Learnp. 177
42 Notice the Bittersweet Moments of New Lovep. 180
43 Help the Relationship Expand with Creativity and Playfulnessp. 182
Part 6 Living in the Heart of the Beloved: We Are One with Each Other
44 Enjoy the Special Story of How You Metp. 189
45 Little Commitments: The Daily Bread of Intimacyp. 192
46 Taking Stock: Listening to Your Buddha Naturep. 195
47 Big Commitments: The Samaya "Marriage"p. 198
48 When Nothing Works: Remember Lovers Are a Gift from the Universep. 200
49 Tasting the Sweetness: Remember You Are Love, Lover, and Belovedp. 202
Recommended Readingp. 207
Resourcesp. 211