Cover image for The Black Christian singles guide to dating and sexuality
The Black Christian singles guide to dating and sexuality
Jackson, Chris.
Personal Author:
Publication Information:
Grand Rapids, Mich. : ZondervanPublishingHouse, [1999]

Physical Description:
159 pages ; 22 cm
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Central Library BV4596.S5 J33 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Central Closed Stacks

On Order



Between the onset of puberty and marriage, every man and woman faces the issues of being single. How do you handle the weekends alone -- or with a dating partner? How do you build a healthy relationship? How can you tell when it's the relationship of a lifetime? And what about sex -- Why say no when your body is screaming yes? Chris Jackson knows the promise and the pitfalls of singleness for African Americans. In this book, he offers frank, down-to-earth wisdom on such topics as: - Practical ways to make the single life a better life - Making the most of the differences between the sexes - How your family history affects your dating relationships - "Creative Conversation from A to Z" - The silent issues: masturbation, date rape, and homosexuality - Breaking up without breaking down - Knowing when a relationship is marriageable . . . And much more -- If you want to order your dating life according to the Bible's prescription for fulfillment, The Black Christian Singles Guide to Dating and Sexuality is an invaluable guidebook. It's easy to read, and it offers real-life answers for your real-life issues.



Preface • Have you ever lain in bed at night after watching too much late-night TV and found yourself wide-eyed and staring at the ceiling with every fiber of your body and aching for the comfort and companionship of a serious soul mate? • Have you ever lain in bed with a partner and, in spite of the sensational sex, you feel unexplainedly empty and strongly unfulfilled? • Perhaps you are currently in a perfect "4.0" relationship with the man or woman of your dreams but you are wondering if your love has enough stamina to last through the major league marathon of a lifelong marriage. So many questions and seemingly so few answers -- until now. This book was written from the crucial vantage point of an African-American male who was single until he was thirty-eight years old. It is my privilege to serve you this meal fresh from the kitchen of my experiences combined with the recipes of my research on the subject. It is drenched in the joys and simmered in the solitude that uniquely comes from a life of living single. To use a different metaphor, sometimes the single life can seem like a high-tech roller coaster with a series of thrilling highs, depressing lows, and a variety of unexpected twists and turns along the way. Singleness, like most other conditions in life, has its advantages and disadvantages. And like a passenger on a roller coaster, you can complain about the wind in your face, or you can sit back and enjoy the ride. I hope that this book upsets you in places. I also hope it makes you laugh, cry, and nod your head affirmatively. Usually significant alterations are made in the fabric of our lives only when we feel strongly about something. Emotions tend to move us to action. Regardless of the many emotions encountered as you read, my greatest desire is that this book would cause you to think and to grow. You may not agree with each viewpoint, but hopefully each point will at least provoke individual thought and stimulate group discussion. Too often we adopt the easy route of accepting the opinions of the majority rather than taking the time and energy necessary to forge our own personal perspective. Finally, may you personally grow in many areas of your life through reading this book as much as I have grown through the process of researching and writing it. Acknowledgments Appreciation is expressed to the following people and groups who have directly and indirectly contributed in small and great ways to the successful development of this book: To God Almighty: Thank you for your love, guidance, power, and inspiration, which all enable me to fulfill my purpose in life To my parents, Andrew and Christine Jackson, and my extended family: I honor you for providing an example, an education, and encouragement and for instilling in me a sense of entrepreneurship To my wife, Coreen, and sons Joshua, Juleon, and Jemiah: Thank you for your love, support, and book suggestions and for believing in me To my office administrator, Chandra Allen: Thanks for your patience, persistence, and professionalism demonstrated in producing the initial printed manuscript To my students--the Baptist Student Union groups from Tennessee State University and Fisk University: You have my heart and have been a great inspiration for this book To my pastor and first lady, Michael Lee Graves and Eleanor Graves: Thanks for your positive example and for encouraging me to pursue excellence in life and ministry To the Temple Singles Ministry: Thanks for your input to the questions in this book and for allowing me to test some of this material on you first To the Missouri Black Christian Singles Conference: Thanks for my foundation in singles ministry and for demonstrating excellence in this very important field of work To the Tennessee Baptist Convention and the Nashville Baptist Association: Thanks for allowing me to develop my gifts and to explore ministry areas beyond the immediate focus To the national B.S.U. Retreat: It is always a joy and never a chore to work with such a hungry and exciting group as you To Dr. John H. Corbitt and the National Baptist Congress Workshop: I have always said you are the cream of the crop. So keep on climbing and don't ever stop To my editor, Jim Ruark: Thanks for your careful work with me and for looking below the surface of sensitive subject matter in order to grasp my true intentions. You understood my heart's motive of enlightening the minds, encouraging the lives, and empowering the spirits of singles To my publisher, Zondervan: Thanks for trusting me with this book and for making it available to so many people for the glory of God Excerpted from The Black Christian Singles Guide to Dating and Sexuality by Chris Jackson All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

Table of Contents

1 Singleness: Burden, Blessing, or Both? The challenges and rewards of being single
2 Male and Female: Appreciating the Differences Making the contrasts work for you, not against you
3 No Condom for the Mind The myths of so-called safe sex
4 Sanctified Sex The delights of deferred gratification
5 Beyond Dinner and a Movie Creative ideas for above-average relationships
6 Common Questions, Uncommon Answers Things you've always wondered about but never asked
7 Solo Sex A direct perspective on masturbation
8 Date Rape Some men's fantasy, every woman's nightmare
9 Homosexuality A challenge for gays and straights
10 Breaking Up Without Breaking Down Halting unhealthy relationships - no [straight]jacket required
11 How to Recognize Mr. or Ms. Right The plan for your man and the wife for your life
12 Who's Loving You? Ingredients in intimacy and lessons in love
Appendix: More Creative

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