Cover image for When your lover is a liar : healing the wounds of deception and betrayal
When your lover is a liar : healing the wounds of deception and betrayal
Forward, Susan.
Personal Author:
First edition.
Publication Information:
New York, NY : HarperCollins Publishers, [1999]

Physical Description:
233 pages ; 25 cm
Added Author:
Format :


Call Number
Material Type
Home Location
Item Holds
HQ28 .F67 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf
HQ28 .F67 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Non-Fiction Area
HQ28 .F67 1999 Adult Non-Fiction Open Shelf

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In this powerful and vitally important new book, internationally acclaimed therapist and bestselling author Susan Forward, Ph.D., provides invaluable advice for women whose men betray their confidence and trust with lies.

Illustrated with a wealth of true-life stories from women who have survived and thrived despite deceptive relationships, When Your Lover Is a Liar shows you how to maneuver through the labyrinth of lying in love relationships. Based on her many years of practice and her extensive knowledge, Forward profiles the wide variety of liars, tells how to deal with the lies--from the benign to the lethal--that these men spin, and gives you practical strategies to stop them before they ruin your relationship and your life.

"The lies that harm us all involve a deliberate attempt to deceive," Forward claims. Differentiating between lies that are blatant misstatements and those that are omissions of facts, she examines the manipulations that men who lie use to keep their partners from discovering the truth. Probing the mind of the liar, she shines a light on the myriad reasons why men lie and provides numerous dramatic examples of how they behave. She also presents a definitive portrait of the one type of liar a woman must leave immediately: the sociopath; the man without a conscience, whose greatest thrill is to exploit and deceive the woman who loves him.

In straightforward language, Forward examines the lies women tell themselves, helping you to cut through the denial that can perpetuate men's lying and prolong and deepen the hurt. Forward also paints a vivid picture of the effects lying has on women'including loss of self-respect, withdrawal, self-blame, rage, and the desire for revenge--and how to deal with them effectively.

Once you find out the truth about your lover and his lies, what do you do? Forward offers practical, proven step-by-step methods for healing the wounds caused by his deception and betrayal. She provides all the communication and behavioral techniques you need to deal with a lover's lies. Forward tells you exactly what to say, when and how to respond to his reactions, and how to present your requirements for staying in the relationship. With understanding and compassion, she helps you decide whether your relationship can be saved and shows you how to move beyond doubt and regret if it can't.

But whether you stay or go, you can learn to love and trust again. Susan Forward shows you the path to rebuilding your confidence and self-respect as well as experiencing the rebirth of trust, both in yourself and in your partner.

Reviews 2

Publisher's Weekly Review

Forward has written several self-help classics about lousy, damaging relationships (Emotional Blackmail; Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them). Once again, she combines gentle empathy with no-nonsense advice as she examines men who lie to women and what women can do about it. Her goal, she writes, addressing women who have been lied to, is to "transform the wounds of betrayal and deception into the wisdom that will illuminate your path." From sexual infidelity to financial disaster, hidden addictions to secret ex-wives, Forward focuses on the serious lies that "involve an intent to deceive" and always "harm us and our relationships." She explains men's various motives, beliefs and behavior patterns, as well as women's frequent denial, "collusion" and acceptance of blame. Forward clearly describes the kind of liar she calls "the sociopath" and sternly warns women to steer clear of the beast and, if already involved with one, to "leave immediately." She then moves on to specific steps for confronting the (non-sociopathic) liar with the reality of his behavior and advises women how to set conditions for continuing the relationship and how to get support from friends, family and professional counselors. Buttressing her advice with examples from her practice, Forward offers some straight talk to women who may have forgotten what candor sounds like. (Jan.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

Library Journal Review

From the author of Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: dealing with everything from little white lies to serious deception. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.